Mulling Again.....

[gness]

I love pressies.....getting and giving....and I do put a lot of thought into what I give...

Over the past few years I have given experience vouchers to some of the younger family members......Driving at Silverstone.....Segway and Flight Simulator.....that sort of thing.

Not only were these gifts not acknowledged...some (£150 worth) weren't used....so I decided to give cash then they could buy what they wanted.

Two gifts last month brought silence....(£50 and £30)....I had to check they had been received.....and I'm not looking for eternal gratitude....just a polite thank you so I know they've got it.

So...after much mulling I've decided to give them each a nice Christmas card explaining that the money I would have spent on a gift has been give to Crisis at Christmas.....I do know what being homeless feels like and it's a charity I support.

As I say.....I'm not looking for gushes of gratitude and I'll tease them a bit when we meet up......I'm not brooding over their lack of thanks either.....but I do think a thank you is important....

So....would you go along with the Crisis decision?....Or would you just keep giving?

Gx

[Neveracrossword]

I'd do exactly the same as you. I've been in a similar position re the lack of thanks or even just an acknowledgement. I don't want or expect a handwritten letter - I'd be happy with just a quick postcard, text or email.

[-Talbot-]

I buy for my children and that's it.
Give it to charity.

[Pete65]

Well done!

[corylus]

Good for you, right decision!

[Mamyalynne]

I am fortunate never to have been in your position but if I had my decision would match yours - do it.

[Peaspeculiars]

I'm in agreement Gness - If they can't take 2 minutes to say Thank you, then give the money to someone who would really appreciate it. Good on ya

[gness]

Thank you...you're convincing me I'm doing right....there'll be no animosity and I will be able to tell them why I've done it....with humour.

When their parents were responsible for getting them to acknowledge a gift they did.....time they knew that they should do it as teenagers and grown ups too.....☺

[ChillDoubt]

You sound like you're too generous for your own good, after the first couple of occasions they'd have been getting used to receiving the square root of feck all!

[tonyav]

I would do the same ( Crisis At Christmas ) if I were you, gness.

[bednobs]

there was a thread about this the other day - someones ungrateful neice think. I liked the idea of someone on there to say " as my previous presents seem to have gone missing, to prevent it happening again, i have the money staright to blah charity

[gness]

How can I get....the square root of feck all....nicely into my card?...Love it!

Bednobs......I won't pretend I think it went missing.....I know I can tell them the reason why.....nicely...and hope they'll stop and think...x

[Psybbo]

As some might say 'That'll larn them', well done x

[gingejbee]

This is one of many reasons that we've refused to get on the "pressie-giving, pressie -receiving" roundabout. We just don't do it...it's a waste of time, money and effort...

[Slapshot]

Buy them a goat as aid to a third world community or sponsor something unpleasant in their name in a zoo, like a spider or a snake....... xx

[murraymints]

dear Gness
I am writing to thank you so very, very much for my bountiful cheque which you so kindly sent me last year. I hope you will come along to my birthday bash in few weeks time...you know the price of cake...terrible ! but I will save you a cofy seat by the fire. hope to hear from you soon..

your impoverished friend in waiting

minty xxx

[mccfluff]

that's just rude not to acknowledge your present & say thank you

I'd not bother sending anything but i'm mean like that

ungrateful scrotes

[gness]

Decided to go with Crisis Dinners, Slappy.....☺

Dear Minty........if I had know when your birthday was I'd have kept the date free...;-)

[murraymints]

have I not mentioned lately ? lol

[gness]

They will get nothing, Fluff....other than the thank you Crisis sends......☺

[EcclesCake]

I was the curmudgeonly aunt who posted a couple of weeks ago :-)

Thanks is nice and well mannered I would have settled with an acknowledgement of receipt as a I had sent my vouchers by email and had no idea if they had been received by the correct recipient.

The niece in question was being a recalcitrant teen having been furnished with the card and repeated instructions to use it by her parents. During the course of a casual chat with my brother I threw in the the suggestion that she shouldn't be surprised if she didn't get anything this Christmas but her sister would who had sent a TY card. He was in agreement but I was surprised by some of the responses I got on here, suggesting I was putting a wedge between the sisters and the family at large.

I think your approach is spot on.