Family Obligations Or Not Giving A Fig

[nailit]

How do you ''do'' family obligations (eg: sending xmas/birthday cards to people that you really couldn't give a monkeys about?)
Why do we feel 'obliged' to do certain things in the knowledge that its all bull, but on the other hand if we don't it might cause more family arguments? (if you all know what I mean)..

[Tilly2]

I don't have that problem Nailit, 'cos I do give a monkey's about my family. I treasure them.

Just send a card. It doesn't hurt.

[Islay]

I don't feel obligated to do anything - I send cards etc and meet for Christmas because I love my family and want to do nice things for them.

[Eleena]

I have one brother who has let a lot of people down over the years, I always tried seeing the good in him. I have my eyes wide open now, though I still send a card birthday and Christmas because he's family, no answer really.

[TWR]

Send a card & bite your tongue, arguments are not worth it.

[nailit]

//Just send a card. It doesn't hurt//
Short term, no of course it doesn't.
//I love my family and want to do nice things for them//
Of course you do.

[nailit]

Sending cards was perhaps a bad example,,

[Jackdaw33]

I normally write:

Money's tight,
Times are hard.
Here's your effin'
Xmas card.

[Tilly2]

Give us another example then, Nailit.

[anneasquith]

What's /who's annoyed you today nailit ?

[TWR]

Nailit, there a bloke I used to work with, a bit of a snake in the grass, I can not take to people like this, I say hello but that's about it, If I was on the front line with this person I would make sure I was behind him.

[nailit]

//I have one brother who has let a lot of people down over the years, I always tried seeing the good in him//
I'm perhaps that one brother (metaphorically speaking) Its been made known to me recently that my family only have anything to do with me is to keep the peace where from my pov is I love my family. I must have mistaken 'peace keeping' for love.

[Islay]

nailit, you don't come across as the easiest person to satisfy so perhaps your family have reached that point where it is just easier to go through the motions with you.

[nailit]

//What's /who's annoyed you today nailit ? //
Nothing and no one anne. Its been my sons 21 birthday today and I realise how much I love him no matter what he does or who he becomes or who he is. I love him just for been my son. Other family don't see me the same way, really couldn't give a monkeys anymore tho.

[Eleena]

My brother has a drink problem Nailit, it split 'his' family up .... if that want enough .. now years down the line and after much patience from all concerned .. it's dividing his blood family. Can't talk to him any more, definitely refuse a conversation with him in drink, absolutely pointless. He's ruined many family get togethers,put drink before family on every level even when family have gone through tragedy. I'm older now, not pretending anymore, can do without it.

[nailit]

//nailit, you don't come across as the easiest person to satisfy//
Can you give me an example Islay?
(seriously,, I'm trying to do a bit of self examination here)

[TWR]

How would you coupe with a brother that's stolen £8000 off his mother that was in first stage Dementia Elina / Nailit?

[Jackdaw33]

I fell out big time with my younger brother 35 years ago and was only reconciled shortly before his death. I have three adult nephews whom I never saw grow up (two now, as one followed his father swiftly into the grave). I have great nephews and nieces whose names I don't even know and have never met. Do I worry? Not a bit. Saves a lot of money come Xmas and birthdays.

[Eleena]

Cut him out of my life, no bother whatsoever.

[TWR]

Better put this correct before they start, "Cope"

[Eleena]

^ To TWR