60/40 split

[mrs x]

husband and father of our 2 young children moved out of family home 18 mnths ago....has been paying mortgage , no other payments.... we were going through mediation he wants a 60/40 split, of house equitiy. 40 to him...
leaving me possibly 30k to provide a home for the 3 of us... im on income support, but work the hours i can set by them. cant get a mortgage, so would have to rent privately till money gone... then apply to a housing waiting list and live in rented or b&b or maybe a hostel till something was offered.is this something the court would see as aceptable for the children. or should i get more than 60%. he is comfortable on 40k living in a house with new partner.

[Drisgirl]

You shuld get 70/30.

I accepted 50/50 with my ex -but I was in a good job and was able to buy him out plus he helped us in everyway he possibly could -apart from the kids maintenance.

You are in a different situation -so I would oursue -with yous solicitor that both of you should come to an agrrement that he maintains a stable home for his children until such time as they flown the nest.English law is different from Scottish law but I do think there is some way round this.

Try it again with your solicitor and put that proposal to him -as in you will pay half the mrtgage -he maintains the children and when the time comes you will agree to sell the property and move on individually

Kids are a lifelong commitment and although the commitment you made to each other didnt work out -he has a fundamental duty to his children to mainain their stability.
Basically -as adults we have to put them first and he has to to accept this.

Good Luck x

[mrs x]

thankyou.x but he wants to sell up , and we cant afford to stay here really, .just dont know the answer, i just want a stable home for our future. his solicitor thinks its a reasonable offer, but then i presume he would!! ..my solicitor backed off when we went to mediation, so i dont know what to do now, its just me and him round a table with a mediator.

[Roy262]

As a person who has been stung by his ex i see things a different way
If the marriage broke up with no one involved a 70/30 spilt
If he had the affair well take him for the lot..
If you had an affair you deserve nothing..
As you see im not sticking up for the male or female just the one in the right..

[sense4all]

http://www.divorceaid.co.uk/financial/family-h ome.htm

Have a swizz at this site, lots of straightforward advice. I think that a home has to be provided until the youngest is 18. If you do not attempt to settle your finances a claim can be made on any inheritance or lottery win etc. There are capital gains tax issues too in some instances. Could you afford to stay in the house if you rented out a room under the tax breaks for that?
http://www.hmrc.gov.uk/individuals/tmarent-a-r oom-scheme.shtml

Some of this site seems simplistic to me but see if you can find anything good on this site
http://www.divorceresource.co.uk/finding-a-new -home.html

By the by I would stick with the Solicitor and bugr the mediation - you have to protect the interests of yourself and your children, not care if you look "unreasonable" if you withdraw from mediation!

[sense4all]

Roy I am sorry you were 'taken' as it were! I do kinda agree with your basic sentiments.

[mrs x]

thankyou all, i will have a look about the site, now, and the ins and outs of the 15 yr marraige dont matter to me now, we both had faults... just want whats best for the children.. and for him not to diddle us out of anything..... i dont want to clean him out either.just want to do whats right .but he is very good at getting me to back down and make all the decisions.

[scorpious123]

im sory to say this but wether someone is married with kids or not or one is working or not i have always think it should be 50 percent straight down the middle and who ever has the kids then the ex parner should pay maitenance so it cuts out all the arguements when this happens the only person making out of this is the solicitors and it causes friction between the 2 people whos getting a bigger share but does that share go to the kids i think not so why should you get it ??????????, if your ex was a decent man he should appy to the court and have his share put in his childrens names so the over partner didnt get it,its not his fault that he is on 40 k as long as he pays maintenance