who pays?

[unrulyjulie]

sorry i didnt know where to post this for the best, im hoping someone can shed a bit of light on this for me.

where does someone stand as regards paying for a funeral when nothing has been left to cover the costs?

No house, she lived in a council flat, The lady in question was receiving a state pension and had help with her housing costs so some will be put towards the costs of her funeral but as for the rest, is it down to the relatives cause what if they haven't got it?

My friend is worried silly cause she doesn't have any spare money. Anyone know what help is out there in this scenario?

[snagged]

Maybe some help here...

http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk/jcp/partners/a llowancesandbenefits/dev_009938.xml.html

[raysparx1]

Hi julie, very sad isn't it, but if there really isn't any money to pay for funeral, i think the council will have to sort it out and as far as I am aware they have a very simple service and the person is put into what is known as a "paupers grave" maybe things have changed but i know this was how it used to be done.

[snagged]

^^^ that isn't specifically for your friends situation but there may be links from there to something more relevant ;o)

[radiogaga]

im thinking your friend should contact her local council office. they will inform her if she can apply for the funeral fund.
i know their is certain criteria someone must meet before they can apply for a percentage of the total cost.

[The Builder]

Hiya Unrules

I've found this..................probably the same kind of thing as the link Snag posted :o)

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Diol1/DoItOnline/D G_4017717

[4getmenot]

some places have a local charity relief fund that can help

[unrulyjulie]

Hi both, thanks for your prompt replies.


the thing is, there are 3 siblings in all, 2 are ok for money but my friend isnt. She is worrying that her unsympathetic sister will be demanding it is split 3 ways. I told her that she can only give what she has, no more no less but she was wondering just how much help will go towards the costs. The funeral is already up to �2,000 already.

thanks for the link snagged, i will pass on the info to her.

[unrulyjulie]

so just taking a quick glance at that link, it goes on what the siblings have.So the fact that her sister can afford it will count, i guess its all easier to work out if you're the only one. I think her problem is more going to be her sister. they dont get on really. I really feel for her cause she's really worrying about it.

[theonlyone]

You can get a grant from the Benefit Agency ..
no idea how much it is or how you do it ...
but the undertaker will be able to point you in
the right direction ..last thing you need when
some one departs ..hope it gets sorted out ..

[raysparx1]

Christ julie it shouldn't even come into it should it, if the others can afford it they should bloody well pay for it, what is wrong with some people, if your friend hasn't got any money, thats not her fault, we only have one mum and dad, so to worry about a few pounds to say goodbye to them is at the least, pathetic.

[unrulyjulie]

thanks to you all and thanks theonlyone. I was wondering if funeral parlours take staggered payments rather than needing it all in one go in a situation where money is a problem,
how sad that this is what takes over when we lose someone!

I wanna go out in a cardboard box, cheaper the better!

[unrulyjulie]

yeah sad aint it ray but thats families for you! her sister has already taken over entirely, deciding whats what and having a go at her over trivial things. She has just been on the phone to me for the last hour very upset. Thing is, i can see it all blowing eventually!

[Ethel]

There is no such thing as a paupers grave thankfully.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefit s/BenefitsTaxCreditsAndOtherSupport/Bereaved/D G_10018660

Everything you need to know is there.

[unrulyjulie]

Thank you Ethel, much appreciated.

[Ethel]

Funeral directors can accept staggered payments and are usually very helpful in the first few months.

They are not a soft option for defaulting on though.

[DONNAKEBABUK]

Jules, there is a funeral fund by the DSS and I think folk have posted the link on here already. As far as I am aware, it pays for a basic funeral. i.e. One car for the coffin, a service, cremation, funeral directors costs, one advert in the paper and one floral tribute. You never know, this lady may well have had a small insurance policy that may cover the cost. Other than that, if the relatives cant afford it all at once then I know for a fact that funeral companies will accept staggered payments. The relatives however will have to pay for the gravestone if they have one.

I hope your friend is okay. My heart goes out to folk like this. I used to work in a Wills and Probate Department and its the last thing that people want to have the worry on their shoulders about when they have lost a loved one.

Take Care.

Love Katie. x

[DONNAKEBABUK]

Also Jules, I know this sounds terrible but if your friend is on benefits and does not have the fare or the money for appropriate funeral clothes, there may be a grant for her for that too. I know there used to be around 5 years ago.

I dont think there is any need for your friend to be embarrassed about applying for this because at the end of the day we are tax payers and I cant think of any one tax payer that minds helping people in these situations. It is those that abuse it that get to me.


Katie. x

[unrulyjulie]

hi katie, thanks for your reply. the situation is , is that they are all working, it was their mum who had nothing so i really wondered what help there was on this score. All costs fall to relatives when no funds are put in place by the deceased obviously.
My friend has no spare cash, that's the problem so she worries that she isnt gonna be able to pay her way and her sister will be less than sympathetic (shes fairly stuck up) i think she just has to set her stall and tell her what she can afford and thats that. Its a very awkward situation i guess.

[DONNAKEBABUK]

Do you know, I have two brothers who are EXACTLY like this. STUCK UP ! They earn a FORTUNE ! I dont do so badly myself, however because I only have 2 little houses and 3 little mortgages (the 3rd was to pay for my Gastric Band) and I raise my little girl alone, my brothers maintain that they do SO much better than me ..................... I will reiterate one of them 'Katie, I have a �450k house', I said 'No you dont son, you have a �450k mortgage!!!' so in a sense I empathise with what your friend is going through with regard to the snobbery! Perhaps they will make her feel guilty that she is not able to pay her fair share of the mortgage and what a hideous time she must be going through with the loss of her mother too! On the other hand, perhaps she is worrying over what she 'thinks' her sister might say when in fact she could be surprised and her siblings may know what situation she is in. Funerals are EXPENSIVE but perhaps one option for your friend is to try and explain to her siblings that she is worried over the cost and how little or no spare cash she has to pay her share for it. They may very well be understanding but if they are not then she SHOULD NOT feel guilty about it. I am wondering as I type that if it HAS to be split three ways and your friend is on a low income if a Grant is available for HER alone to pay HER share. Thats a thought.

I am also thinking that Buenchico in Law may have the answer.

I am so sorry I cant help you further, I am wracking my brains here, I will come back to you if I have a brain wave sweetheart.

Take Care of you AND your friend, I am sure there are many folk out there who wish they could have a friend like you. Well Done.

Hugs.

katie. x

[unrulyjulie]

Blimey Katie, what can i say but a huge thank you! Youre fab ! x