solicitors advice

[spritza10]

am i receiving the right advice? my husband left me to live with another woman who he was having an affair with. the divorce has taken nearly three years to complete,due to my ex being reluctant to return papers etc. we are going through ancillary proceedings recommended by the solicitor despite their being very little assets as my ex will not reach any agreement. the house is up for sale and effectively myself and my son will be homeless. At the first court hearing my husbands solicitors made it out to be all my fault, and my solicitor did very li9ttle to defend me. I have paid all the mortgage (joint names)and marital debts (that are all in my name)on my own since he left five years ago. i have taken a second job to provide for myself and my son and keep us afloat. i have a good nhs pension, and he only contributes minimum through the csa.it appears from the first court hearing that he looks like getting half of everything. including my pension, doesnt have to pay anything to the mortgage, but can still claim half the value of equity even though the value of the property when he stopped paying the mortgage was half what it is now.
or order me to stay in the house until my son leaves school and then assume his cut. but doesnt have to contribute to the mortgage over the next 10 years but can claim half the value in 10 years time.IS THIS THE RIGHT ADVICE OR IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO, I AM AT MY WITS END NOW. I AM SET TO LOSE EVERYTHING FOR HIM HAVING AN AFFAIR AND LEAVING. HE HAS HIDDEN HIS ASSETS AND NO BODY SEEMS TO CARE. WHAT CAN I DO???? PLEASE HELP ME WITH YOUR ADVICE.

[BRAVO1]

First of all let me say how sorry and sad I was to hear your story.
Even though I am a guy, I am amazed how selfish some blokes can be.
I have dealt with many legal issues through the courts via solicitors and barristers over the years and have learnt many things.
In life you get people who are really good at there jobs and others who are not so good,its obvious that your husbands got a good team so take my advice.
I have dismissed solicitors and changed companies, because of poor service and really crap decisions.
If your not happy, please seek further advice from a new solicItor ASAP - Take every piece of paper and file,and tell whoever you speak to your concerns.
Get a second opinion, and start planning your future.
We will never be able to change the laws so we have to learn to live with them.
Everyday the courts make decisions, people get hurt and upset and lives are changed forever.
My advice, please be positive, despite this chapter you sound like a really a strong person with a good attitude.
Have you thought about starting a fresh life abroad ?...
I wonder what would happen if you just decided to stop paying the mortgage, sold up, and got a plane.
God bless you, I hope that you get the result you want.

[spritza10]

thankyou for your kind words. however if i change solicitors what happens to the bill already run up, and will i be expected to settle in in order to move to another solicitor.i really dont know what to do

[themas]

This can be difficult. From what you say it certainly seems you have had bad advice & you definitely need a solicitor fully experienced in family law matters.

However, I think the rule is that your present solicitor can refuse to release his file until he has been paid for the work he has done. I assume you are not entitled to legal aid - if you are the situation may be different.

There are complaint procedures you can use against solicitors (see Law Society website) but these will not necessarily help you with the problem of getting the file & moving to another solicitor if your present one refuses to pass on the file.

If your solicitor is in a large firm it may be worthwhile going to the Complaints Partner of the firm (they have to tell you who this is - it should be in the engagement letter you should have had from them) to see whether the work could be handed over to a more experienced specialist in the firm.

There is also a procedure to dispute the bill but I think you have to pay half of it first & then the rest is investigated - & again the file may be held while this is done.

Maybe, if you are able to pay an initial one off fee, you could get an interview with a specialist family law solicitor at another firm to get a second opinion on what you are being told. You would have to prepare carefully for the interview & take with you the relevant documents (make sure you copy them beforehand in case the solicitor wants to keep them).

In some areas there are law centres or other sources of free legal advice (some CABs do this) where you could possibly get this second opinion for nothing.

[BRAVO1]

That was great advice from THEMAS.

It's a crying shame that these so called "professionals" instructed by us to work on our behalf often get it wrong.

This man that you was married to should be ashamed of himself, these are the actions of a weak and very selfish person.. How a person can even consider making there child homeless is beyond me.

It's not about winning, because winning means that someone has lost.

Marrages breakdown and people get hurt, that is a fact of life, but taking it out on innocent children, who deserve the very best is just wicked.

I came back from the war in Ireland a changed and broken man, but I still ensured my ex- wife got her half of everything we had bought and saved for, I settled the bills when I left, and even got her a small car so she could take the kids to school, I paid my full amount of maintenance plus more until she re-married, and I keep our children clothed and fed when times were hard.

I never forgot the safety and mental security of our children, and despite our seperation, we both knew that we owed it to our kids to act responsible.

A marrage may not last a lifetime, but a child is forever.

There is light at the end of the tunnel, just be strong.