phoning someone when you are not happy with someone else...

[joko]

if you were to phone someone - just to ask to speak to someone else - and you were polite as always, but had a slight 'something' in your voice that made it clear that you are a bit unhappy about something (it cannot possibly be the person who answers the phone and they know that) is it fair for them to then call the person all upset, claiming you'd been "off" with them?

youd been totally polite, not said anything bad etc but the slight air that you're unhappy made them upset?
they decided they thought you were a debt collector and didnt know who you were, and acted all surprised at you calling and decided that when they told you he wasnt there that, you saying, "ah ok, he said he might go there, but no problem ill try his other line" was you implying she was lying...

what do you make of this? would you apologise?

ive apologised for them feeling upset but, but im quite angry that theyve caused this trouble, and i know i wasnt rude...this is all totally about her reading into things because of a very vague hint in my voice.

and it was NOT that sort of gritted teeth, impatient, exasperated tone that people sometimes do...id have known if i was doing that...it was me actually trying to just sound normal.

(she is also unwell at the moment, so this could explain the over the top reaction)

what do you make of this?

do you take other peoples emotions personally, even when you know they are not upset with you? would you just think, "oh they must have something on their mind, they didnt sound right", and just leave it at that...or would you go off and stew and decide they are out of order?

(it really was only a slight hint in the voice, because i was not angry, just a bit irritated, and i was polite as i always am, and i was even a touch chatty - but that made her think i didnt believe her!)

cheers

[McMouse]

Er................Come on England.

[wolf63]

If I had taken the call and was irked by your tone I would just assume that you were having a bad day and let it go.

However I don't know the other person - she might be a sensitive soul. Maybe you were more "off" or aggressive than you think.

None of it matters - these things happen daily. Don't worry about it, buy chocolate and stomp around.

Susan

[joko]

i personally think she has gone off and talked to someone and theyve stirred it, making her imagine something that was not there..as she implied id said "mmm...welll he said he was there" in a very snide, disbelieving and sarcastic tone...i didnt at all - i believed her! why wouldnt i? i also knew he might not be there, and i just said, id call his other phone...
it didnt occur to me for one minute she was lying, because why would she?

i was irritated by something but he had no idea of that so there'd have been no reason for him to tell her to lie...its daft.

i only said that hed said he might go there, because she sounded shocked at me ringing and didnt know it was me (after a year and a half of me ringing...) so i sort of tried to explain why i was ringing...any tone in my voice was probably more surprise and confusion at her reaction and because he wasnt there, to be honest...id just assumed shed say, "hang on" and just put him on

she also added that because i didnt say "hiya, how are you" to her, that i was being rude...i have never ever said that to her...so why suddenly today is she upset?

maybe she's iller than we thought...(just a fluey type thing, nothing serious)

[joko]

i know thsi is long, but just trying to explain fully, rather than have people ask questions for info

[woofgang]

had you thought that person A (the person you phoned) might be a bit peeved that you had thought that you could contact person B (the one you are off with) through her?

[joko]

hi, no its his mum and he stays there a lot...i must have phoned the house about 100 times over a year and half...she normally fine.

i just dont get why shed take it personally...its like wolf said, id just think theyre having a bad day and ignore it...unless they were actually rude or snotty...but i wasnt...she just thinks i didnt believe her...but i knew he might not be there so why wouldnt i?