Returning mail to sender

[Andyvon]

I hope this is the right section for this post - apologises if not.

Since last year my wife and I have been receiving bank statements and letters for my step-daughter (S) who has never lived with us. Unfortunately, S has spent the last few years in the world of drugs and everything that goes with it. Over the years my wife and I have frequently tried to help S. We have taken her on holidays, found her a modelling job, a flat etc. S has always thrown everything away and gone back to her rogue friends and drugs. Last year we took S to Spain and then found her another flat. We paid the deposit and the first two months rent. We then helped her claim benefits and opened a bank account for her using our address for convenience. S then got herself evicted and left owing money. She's now homeless and living on the streets in a neighbouring town with some new boyfriend whose made her pregnant.

Sorry to wander off. Our main concern here is that we keep receiving bank statements and letters from S's bank. Although S can't go overdrawn on her cash account, we still don't want to be blacklisted if there are problems. Since last year we have told Lloyds Bank that S has never lived with us and she's not interested in her account. We say she's homeless, we put RTS on the post and return it with notes to stop sending it to us, we beg the bank not to send it to us. However, Lloyds keep sending us S's post. We don't know exactly where S is so please how do we stop her post?

[factor-fiction]

I assume the bank can't accept your word for it and can't accept instructions from you- they need to discuss this with your daughter and until they can sort this out they will continue to write to your address I think

[Andyvon]

Thank you factor 30. We were told that once so it makes sense. I suppose we could be anybody to the bank. The trouble is that S isn't in the least interested in things like this. We don't even know where she is at the moment. She's just got a Pay as You Go mobile and says she's living on the streets, 'crashing out' as people's places and sleeping in the park.

[Buenchico]

You almost certainly can't stop the mail. The bank has a contractual duty to its customers to send statements to the last address notified to the bank. Until such time as your step-daughter (and nobody else) notifies the bank of a new address (to which statements should be sent), the bank is legally obliged to continue sending them to your address.

Credit reference agencies are not permitted to blacklist people based solely upon their address. However they can do so where they believe that a financial 'association' (such as a family relationship) exists between the debtor and the householder. If you believe that might occur in your circumstances, you should file a 'notice of disassociation' with at least one of the main credit reference agencies. (They normally share such information with each other so, theoretically at least, you should only need to do so with one agency).

Contact details for the three main UK credit reference agencies are here:
http://www.ico.gov.uk...ic_guides/credit.aspx

Chris

[Andyvon]

Thank you Chris. That's a great help. We didn't realise that we could be linked financially by association so we will get in touch with an agency. We do wonder where it all went wrong for her. She even started a career as a model.

[Charlie911]

Blimey mate! That old saying springs to mind. "You just can't help some people." I feel very soory for you and your wive, you have obviously always stood by S and helped her as much as you possibly could. You very obviously both love S very much and it must hurt that she keeps throwing it back in both your faces.
I have nothing to add hre that is going to help you very much, the most obvious thing here is that the bank is 'trying' to respect S's privacy.

I would just like to wish you, all three of you, the very best of luck.

[Andyvon]

Thank you Charlie - you hit every nail right on the head.
As the council have washed their hands my wife and I found S three flats in the past but she got thrown out of all of them. I kept having to deal with angry landlords. We tried everything to encourage her away from the drug crowd. Several years ago my wife and I even used to sit down the railway line in the evenings because S would turn up with her drug friends and then she would burst in demanding money from her mother. Even the police, council, Social Services and mental health have washed their hands as they say you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. We have had to stand back and start thinking of ourselves, otherwise we don't sleep or settle etc. We still live in terror of the phone ringing. I can see the day when we hear that S is dead.

[Andyvon]

Me again! Just to say that S's sister is just the opposite. She's always come top of the class in everything and she's at university now and training to be a nurse. So why the difference? Years ago, my wife was hit by a car and brain damaged so she couldn't bring the girls up. Maybe that's the reason.

[ttfn]

Hello Andrew - just a thought. If you need to contact your daughter who is living on benefits you could always address a personal letter to her and send it to the appropriate Jobcentre Plus Office (if you know which one it would be) with a covering letter asking the Manager to hand the letter to S next time she visits them. They would not be permitted to tell you if S is signing on there but should be able to hand such correspondence to her if she is. I echo Charlie's comments for all of you. Kind regards ttfn

[Andyvon]

Thanks ttfn. I think we might do that as we don't know where she is - she only answers her phone when she feels like it, or is able.

It's good to hear from you again. I'm sorry to report that the fox I saw happily washing itself as I walked past a few weeks ago is now dead. I came across it lying in the road hit by a car. There's another fox in that area now though. Regards, Andrew.