marriage

[peanut]

I would like to ask my girlfriend of five years to marry me. The problem is I really do not have the money to spend on an expensive engagement ring, but on the other hand I dont want to feel cheap. I have a real hard time seeing why jewelery needs to be so expensive and find it hard to justify spending so much on a ring. what can I do? surely somebody has been in this situation, right? Do you have to have a ring?

[Topsie]

well from my point of view the ring isnt the main thing.  However, it is nice so that people can see the ring when you are telling people you are getting married.  The ring is just a symbol it doesnt have to cost much.  As long as you love your girlfriend thats the main thing and the cost of the ring wouldnt change that.

[Oneeyedvic]

Firstly, good luck (and if she says yes congratulations).

I maybe wrong, but my perception is that to a woman, a ring means a lot - after all, when she says she is engaged, everyone will ask to see the ring! - She wants to have full bragging rights.

That said, it does depend on your means - personally speaking, I 'blew' about 1 weeks wages at the time. - so if you earn �10k a year, look to spend about �200. - (this is my opinion only)

Personally, I always like to buy my wife jewellery - it will only increase in value after all.

I wwanted to spend around �600-�800 when I bought my wifes - we ended up going to Thailand on holiday and buying one there - purchased it for about �700, and had it valued back here at �2000.

If it helps, the wedding ring is far cheaper - and if you are really tight you could just get married straight away ;-)

[larrylamb]

Try Argos tomorrow 26. They have some rings from the previous catalogue going half price. Good luck and congratulations.

[smudge]

peanut - I would go along with larrylamb.

Argos have a great selection of rings which will not cost the earth.

If your girlfriend accepts your proposal, good luck & congrat's! :0)

[peanut]

Larrylamb and smudge,

     Thank you for your responses but I live in New York state and am unfamiliar with Argos. Do they exist here?

[smudge]

Sorry peanut. Us little Englanders took it for granted that you were in our neck of the woods. I have no idea whether there are Argos srores in NY, so sorry I can't help you further.

*AB ED - this is why we need a country faciltiy on here!

[smudge]

*stores *facility

[peanut]

Thanks anyway for your help smudge.

[Chillum]

I believe "the etiquette" is one months wages on a ring. Not that I'm deaming any previous posters of course. I agree with the one and only oneeyedvic that a ring means a lot to a woman. Hopefully it'll be on her finger for a long time, and you want her to enjoy looking at it. Women spend a long time looking at rings for some reason.

[Sasha13]

The traditional thing to do is to spend a months salary before tax on an engagment ring, but I wouldn't like a man doing that for me!!. I hate the thought of someone spending that much money when I would prefer the money to go towards a house or the wedding itself. One idea would be to get a ring made in silver with a semi precious stone which would be long lasting but not too expensive - the money could then be used for other things and you could have a copy of the ring made in white gold and precious stones to give as a gift to your wife, say for your tenth anniversary - Good luck :-) 

[Scarlett]

I totally agree with you that very expensive jewellery is silly. I would settle for a pretty hippy ring that turns my finger green. But I think the point is that these rings should last forever- until you are both old and white-haired. So anything too cheap is simply not going to last. Also your girlfriend may not see your view and may see this as being tight, and a way of things to come. You only get engaged once-hopefully, so splash out and see it as an investment.

[Scarlett]

*(emotional as well as financial)