Why??

[bobjugs12]

I had a lovely kebab for dinner last night. Smothered in chilli sauce, and with extra whole chilli's on the side. It was gorgeous!

So why does the food of the gods, become the product of the devil this morning? How is it fair that a gorgeous meal ends up leaving you with ring-sting and smelling like something crawled up your bum and died?

Society wastes all this money on space exploration, and climate change research etc. How about using those scientists and their budgets for something useful, namely the elimination of uncomfortable poo's!!

[Count-A-Strong]

Remedy:
Go outside, pull clarts down, sit in snow.

[zzxxee]

does it burn burn burn like a ring of fire aka johnny cash style ?? lol

[Booldawg]

kebabs are only to be consumed after a gallon of ale, otherwise it wont ferment properly in your lower gut.

[bobjugs12]

Bool, to be honest McDonalds was shut, and I needed food. We then happened upon a Kebabby who was still open, and stuffed our faces with the good stuff.
Count/zz, it's not bad enough to warrant treatment, but it is a bit warm downstairs at the momnet.

[snags]

Lucky NoM... by tonight she should be enjoying the full effect of 'kebab backdraught' ;-p

[Count-A-Strong]

Did you like my use of the word 'clarts'?

[bobjugs12]

Luckily, the beautiful NoM won't have to put up with the 'windy wallops' till friday (by which point I'm hoping the bean and sprout medly I'm having today will have flushed my system). It's my crewmate tonight I pity. 12hrs sat in a truck with me....poor sod

[charmer73]

disgusting topic for the festive season.♥♥

[bobjugs12]

It's funny count. I've never heard the word clarts before, yet I knew exactly what it meant. I will, however, be stealing your fancy word off you, for use by me and anyone else that wants it.

[Count-A-Strong]

No problem. I think it's the northern equiv' of 'strides'

[bobjugs12]

Charmer, it's the 1st of December so not really the festive season.
Plus, is there any time of year that it's good to have ring-sting? Maybe it's more appropriate in Lent, or Easter?
Plus, I don't care what time of year it is, I'm a grinch. Bah Humbug

[anneasquith]

i didnt know "society" was interested in space explorations and climate change ?

[zzxxee]

hope your workmate has a cold in this weather may be of use cos of the bottom burping later !!!!!

[Bbbananas]

I am not going to get involved with a thread about bottoms and poo.
I have a bad enough reputation as it is......

[bobjugs12]

My last crewmate had no sense of smell, so I could trump till my heart was content and he was never the wiser (although occasionally he could 'taste' them!!).
My new crewmate is normal though, so he's screwed!

[zzxxee]

to late salla you have already commented
there you go bob you have a pooping partner in crime
in salla x

[charmer73]

i always thought that in scotland a clart was a dirty person??♥♥♥

[Jemisa]

The word 'clart' is very often used in Catherine Cookson books so I presume its a Northern word.

Its used mainly to describe thick mud, if one picks up a handful of mud that is classed as a 'clart'
Someone on Who W To Be a M lost £93.000 because they didn't know the meaning.

jem

[Count-A-Strong]

Jem, my grandfather who was a farmer in West Yorks often used the phrase 'clarted up' to describe muddy clothes.

but then he invented his own words. 'Kebnorp' meant someone who was daft.

[Bbbananas]

Buckfummad was a made-up word by my first father-in-law, god rest his lovely sould.