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thanks for all your insights, and the ideas for what to write in the refusal letter - all useful.
It's hard to give advice actually, because the job that she was offered first is no doubt the better job. Better prospects, better pension scheme, better job training and better money as it's more hours.
It's a question for following your head or your heart and I'm not at all certain which I would do if I were her. Having followed my heart rather than my head many many years ago, with hindsight, even though the heart job worked out, it carried many challenges that I wouldn't have had if I'd followed my head!!
I personally agree though, and would tell her so, that most organisations are used to employing people who change their minds, don't turn up, or leave very shortly after they started. It's extremely difficult when working for a totally new kind of organisation what it's going to be like. Something that you think will be wonderful turns out quite the opposite, and vice versa!!