Purple, have a look at the work of Barbara Pointon, she has been on TV and I had the privilege of hearing her speak in person last year. She nursed her husband through to his death and is an ambassador for the Alzheimers Society (whose website can also give you some really useful information). Barbara emphasised how carers need to realise that sufferers are not living with us now, they are living in some past time - and correcting them doesn't make a difference, we need to acknowledge what's in their heads. If your ex FIL says he wants to go home, he might mean his early married home or even where he lived as a child. The incident you describe might have been something way back in his past that he never talked about, or it might be the cheeky young man from years ago talking. It's heart-breaking, but you are right to allow for his behaviour. New carers will confuse him so you are right, also, to say that he's not so good with new people - Barbara described it very much like reverting to babyhood.
Have a look here for what Barbara imparts about her experience in caring for her husband until he died....
http://www.lwdp.org.u...lful_care_matters.pdf