Child doesn't like grandparents

[k8bailey]

My partner and I have 2 daughters, a 3 year old and a 10 month old.

Several weeks ago the in-laws visited and took photos of the baby, but not the 3 year old, who noticed this at the time and became a bit quiet and sulky. The next time we saw the in-laws our 3 year old waited until they left, then said that she hated Nanny & Granddad. Not only was this the fist time she'd ever used the word hate, it was also the 1st time she'd ever said Nanny - She has talked about her Granddad before but not Nanny, which I think is strange. My partner mentioned to his parents, twice, that they may have upset our daughter.

Everytime we've seen them since, the 3yr old becomes withdrawn and a bit naughty, we've been ignoring it, hoping she'll get over it.

2 weeks ago when they visited, 3 yr old said before they arrived, that they were 'ok', but weren't allowed to take photos, which me and her dad agreed to.
However MIL had bought a new camera and wanted to take pictures....I waited until 3yr old was out of earshot and asked MIL v.politely not to take pics that day because 3yr old was upset, and explained about her feeling left out. At which point MIL stormed out of the house, told FIL what had been said and he began shouting at my partner saying he was being unreasonable and that he'd never mentioned a problem before.

My partner now hasn't spoken to his parents since this happened.......it seems so trivial, the kid doesn't want photos taken.

My question is, should a 3yr old be allowed to make decisions like these? I think yes, but clearly MIL doesn't.
and how can we resolve the situation with the 3 year old? and also with the in-laws? I think they should appologise to my partner, and respect our wishes....but I think thats unlikelyto happen.

[Mamyalynne]

Harsh and unnecessary Bill.

[k8bailey]

wow bill who rattled your cage!! I think this situation would be way to tame for the JK show.

Of course I'm going to worry about how my kid feels, what parent doesn't?

You suggest that we "all go your different ways, don't speak or recognise each other ever again" - doesn't sound v.mature to me.
The whole point of this question was to get some advice on how to stop it dragging on for years

Now since you have nothing useful to contribute, crawl back under your rock!

[cathfromsaron]

they should have had more sense than to make a fuss of the baby and not the toddler!

rule number 1!

hope they phone and apologise soon!

[cathfromsaron]

very foolish to make a fuss of the baby and not the toddler!

hopefully they will apologise ...