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how does one deal/cope with suicide
47 Answers
Following on from an incredibly thoughtless/crass remark by an ABer,who obviously had never been touched by the heartbreaking tragedy of a Suicide.
Friend of mine"s Brother sadly decided to end it all,by leaping in front of a Train.He was a very intelligent young man,with a bright future in store.
It was 15 or so years ago,and is not talked about often,outside the family.My friend is lovely,but on the few times I"ve seen her talk of her Brother,she becomes extremely distraught,sad and very angry with him.
Can there be many worse events,to befall a family?
Friend of mine"s Brother sadly decided to end it all,by leaping in front of a Train.He was a very intelligent young man,with a bright future in store.
It was 15 or so years ago,and is not talked about often,outside the family.My friend is lovely,but on the few times I"ve seen her talk of her Brother,she becomes extremely distraught,sad and very angry with him.
Can there be many worse events,to befall a family?
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You will notice the thread that runs through these replies - that the suicde seemed perfectly lucid and happy until ...
The sad fact is that anyone who is actually going to kill their pain (and that is what suicide is really about) has learned to stich a mask of 'normality' into place while they quietly and desparately reach the end behind it.
Suicide is about taking control of that mental agony that cannot be borne for one more minute - the last act of a desparate mind. It is a desire to hit back at the pain that has controlled the mind for so long - and that is why some suicides are violent - it's a final 'hitting back hard' that feels like an attractive option - if you are desparate enough.
It's very hard for the rational minds of those bereaved to understand, and anger and frustration are a very real and natural part of the grieving process.
I don't think you ever 'get over' the loss of a suicide, what you do is weave it into the fabric of your life, it's always there, but its savage impact dulls over time.
Your friend may benefit from counselling - try calling your local branch of MIND and see if they can help, or if she wants to talk to someone who understands, The Samaritans have vast experience of this sad fact of life - or she can talk to us on here - as you know, there are plenty of understanding people on here who offer comfort and support.
The sad fact is that anyone who is actually going to kill their pain (and that is what suicide is really about) has learned to stich a mask of 'normality' into place while they quietly and desparately reach the end behind it.
Suicide is about taking control of that mental agony that cannot be borne for one more minute - the last act of a desparate mind. It is a desire to hit back at the pain that has controlled the mind for so long - and that is why some suicides are violent - it's a final 'hitting back hard' that feels like an attractive option - if you are desparate enough.
It's very hard for the rational minds of those bereaved to understand, and anger and frustration are a very real and natural part of the grieving process.
I don't think you ever 'get over' the loss of a suicide, what you do is weave it into the fabric of your life, it's always there, but its savage impact dulls over time.
Your friend may benefit from counselling - try calling your local branch of MIND and see if they can help, or if she wants to talk to someone who understands, The Samaritans have vast experience of this sad fact of life - or she can talk to us on here - as you know, there are plenty of understanding people on here who offer comfort and support.
I don't know of anybody who has committed suicide but have struggled with mental illness all my life.
I took an overdose many years ago and managed to sleep for a couple of days.
It is hard to talk to someone and explain to them how depression (I am Bipolar and suffer manic episodes too) screws up your brain and thought processes.
The thought of feeling bad and lost for the rest of your life is terrifying.
If you do know someone who suffers from depression the nicest thing that I can think of for you to do is a spontaneous act of kindness. A couple of years ago a Big Issue seller gave me his cream egg - it was quite sweet and totally unexpected. I only have my cats and there idea of a gift is a 4am alarm call because they are bored.
;-)
I took an overdose many years ago and managed to sleep for a couple of days.
It is hard to talk to someone and explain to them how depression (I am Bipolar and suffer manic episodes too) screws up your brain and thought processes.
The thought of feeling bad and lost for the rest of your life is terrifying.
If you do know someone who suffers from depression the nicest thing that I can think of for you to do is a spontaneous act of kindness. A couple of years ago a Big Issue seller gave me his cream egg - it was quite sweet and totally unexpected. I only have my cats and there idea of a gift is a 4am alarm call because they are bored.
;-)
I can't think of anything worst, to leave behind friends and family, a finality that no-one could stop. I knew a young man whose wife left him, he was working on an extension to her parents home, and made a good job of the building work. He was depressed of course and attended outpatients clinic but seemed to be doing alright. I used to chat to him when I passed the house. As soon as the building was finished he jumped off a motorway bridge. I pass the house almost daily, the parents in law couldn't bear to live in the house after that. I think of him quite a lot but it seems his mind was made up. So sad.
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