If Family Do Not Hear From You For Weeks, Why Would They Not Try To Find You?

[postage]

I have 7 brothers and 3 sisters’ mother and father we all live in different parts of Uk. I used to talk regularly to my mother, on the phone and sometime visit her.
My father, brothers and sisters. Had stopped talking to me about 15 years, I don’t know the reason, o one explained or asked me, there was a family function where my mother forced me to attend it, she told me that she had asked all the brothers and sisters to talk to me when I am there and make me feal like a part of the family, when I arrived no one spoke to me and I just pretended to be a part of that family by laughing and taking to people I did,nt know.
How ever my older brother did a little presentation for my parents and left me and my kids out. When I asked him why he said he didn’t want
To talk to me about it.
No one stood up for me and all my other brothers and sisters just sat there and watched it, ( they enjoyed it)
I have not phoned my mother for nearly 3 weeks and no one has bothered to check to see if I am alive.
What would you do???????????????

My kids are fantastic they talk to me.

[AB Editor]

"There was a family function where my mother forced me to attend it"

15 years is a long time. Maybe it's worth just ringing out of the blue and asking what's up?

That, or announce that you've won the lottery and see how popular you are.

[postage]

i have phoned but they dont talk,,, but i like your idea bout the lottery!!

[ummmm]

And you haven't done anything to upset them?

[vulcan42]

The fact that your mother told all your brothers and sisters to talk to you at the family function suggests that she knows the problem exists so I would ask her.

[Old_Geezer]

I'd be tempted to say that we all have our own lives to lead. If one isn't in a regular habit of speaking to someone it just gets left. But the issue about your brothr not wishing to talk about it does sound as if tis is more than that. Can you not ask your mother what the issue is ? It seems you have opted not to make that contact. 3 weeks isn't that long a time.

[DJHawkes]

you can't pick your family and you don't actually have to like them. Those are the facts. Don't beat yourself up but do you all swap christmas and birthday cards ?

[pusskin]

There's something radically wrong for all the family to turn against you postage.
Can you not think of anything that you have said or done wrong?
It only takes a simple word for the family to gang up on you.

[daffy654]

There must be a reason that they don't talk to you.

[postage]

Mother knows there’s a problem but she’s too scared to intervene incase she gets kicked out of the house from by my father ( she has no money or status of her own – she been married 55 years)
Well I think I know what happened one of my older sister’s son framed me, he sent a letter to my older brother’s house insulting him for being discriminating against religion and culture and I got the blame for me o did my children, Ii tracked it down and found out where the letter was posted and it was where her son lives --- far from me.
No one believed that it wasn’t me apart from my mother but she was too scared to admit it so this went on for years!!
To make things worse this brother doesn’t like my life style I separated from my partner my kids live the way they want to live no restrictions on they should live within the culture, and religion
I believe as long as you’re a good human being and don’t hurt any one you live how you want to live,

My older brother doesn’t.
The entire family agree with him and disagree with me. I have never borrowed or begged from any them, I have always worked never taken money from government
But now it bugs me that family don’t really care. Unless you’re a doctor, dentist or own loads of money

I don’t have any of those things I work to pay my rent and live.

[daffy654]

So this is all down to religion and culture clashes?

I would say if that is the case you are better off without them. Continue to live your life with your children however you see fit.

[bednobs]

Are you from a culture/religion where that's important then? if so that's probably your reason. As to what i would do, i i had been regularly taliking to my mother, i wouldn't leave it 3 weeks, and would ring her

[DJHawkes]

what a nasty bunch, ignore them, they're not worth your bother.

[pusskin]

Agree with daffy.
If it all revolves around religion and culture, I would just keep myself to myself and let them all stew. I hope it gets resolved, good luck.

[Bbbananas]

Yup - agree with daffy, dot and Pusskin..
Let it be, get on with your life.

[ummmm]

That's a lot of people to lose from your life. 10 siblings plus parents...

[bednobs]

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Body-and-Soul/Relationships-and-Dating/Question795937.html
well she's got an extra 3 sisters from somewhere!

[pusskin]

We dont really know the circumstances or culture , so its not easy for us to know exactly what your up against postage.
Try and keep in touch with your mum. That is a lifeline and will help you to not feel so isolated x

[postage]

pusskin i will take your advice

[ummmm]

Bednobs...maybe she just missed out the 3 by accident.

[AB Editor]

"Well I think I know what happened one of my older sister’s son framed me, he sent a letter to my older brother’s house insulting him for being discriminating against religion and culture and I got the blame for me o did my children, Ii tracked it down and found out where the letter was posted and it was where her son lives --- far from me."

Why did he want to "frame" you?