What Is People's Opinions Please?

[chelsea_girl]

My son who is 20, and his 19 year old partner have a three week old baby. After a heated argument last weekend I have been told I'm no longer welcome and nor are the family. They ignore any messages I send to them and refuse to let me see my grandchild. They have no fixed abode, just going between the girl's parents each week. What is my best course of action?

[Retrochic]

Unless you tell us what you said we can't really give any pertinent advice . If you lost it, then apologize -if they lost it then send them a letter along the lines of 'you have so much on your plate at the moment I realise things got a bit out of hand you must be so stressed out you know I'll always be here to help out. Then leave them to stew.

[Prudie]

Why does the last and 20th answer on this thread say it was Retrochic when it's Woofgang?

[Prudie]

Whoops, spooky glitch - sorry

[AB Editor]

Not sure, but you seem to have fixed it Prudie? :)

Cheers for that!

[Sqad]

Prudie.......for some odd reason, Retrochic posted her post and it showed up in Latest Posts but wasn't transferred to the thread for about 5 mins.
Odd eh?

[andy-hughes]

Khandro - //You need an intermediary to talk to them, possibly a priest, but that may not apply? //

Seriously?

This lady is in bits about her lost family, do you think she really needs someone to come and hand-wring and earnestly tell her in the patronising voice one uses for a five year-old with personality issues, that God will sort everything out - but that may not mean she gets her family back, because that may not be his 'purpose'?

I think she's got enough to cope with!

[Prudie]

They're 19 and 20 with a baby and no home, emotions all over the place, no stability - a year younger and you'd put it down to teenage angst. On the face of it not the best start for anybody. It's only been a few days, leave it alone. I'd wager the situation will be entirely different at some point in the near future.

[ABSpareEditor]

I think perhaps Khandro just meant it might be a good idea to get someone outside of the family to try to facilitate some discussion and help them re-open the lines of communication - someone who knows the family but is also impartial, such as a priest, for example, or another pillar of the community. :)

[Khandro]

andy-hughes; Your spiteful post sheds no light, or offers any advice at all to the question and demonstrates your complete ignorance about pastoral care within communities.
I believe in such matters, a good intermediary can be of value and give an objective view of the problem to both parties. If as I say, a priest does not "apply", then it may be someone else whose judgment you can value.

[Baldric]

///Khandro - //You need an intermediary to talk to them, possibly a priest, but that may not apply? ///

That reads to me, that Khandro is suggesting a Priest talks to the young couple not the OPer.
Just a thought.

[Khandro]

Thanks Ed.

[naomi24]

andy-hughes, priests work in the community and if requested will mediate in all sorts of situations, including family conflict. It wouldn’t be my choice, or recommendation, but this isn’t about me and I have to give credit where credit is due.

[viv41]

I agree with BOO at 08:06. The are very young and they will learn.

[naomi24]

It would be nice if the OP would come back and tell us what she's decided to do - if anything.

[tamborine]

Offer some money for collection under the guise for the babe.

[chelsea_girl]

No I am not in touch with her parents. Her dad keeps himself to himself and the girl's mum is awful. She threw them out on Mother's Day last year because her daughter called her during a meal.

[Maydup]

Do you think you can apologise for the heated arguement?

If so do it by text to both of them at the same time. don't ask anything of them or pester them just apologies and tell them you miss them.

They will get in touch eventually but you are the grown up and need to do all the work here. What were you doing falling out with them in the begininng?

[chelsea_girl]

I got upset because they told me the werent coming to visit us that weekend, and i spoke and said negative things to them. then i thought it was fixed and i was going over midweek to see them, and my DIL told my son that I was no longer welcome, which is hurting me lots, but the rest of the family are also suffering