Help - I Might Be Jailed For 10 Years!

[wiltsman]

Any advice please?

Here in Wiltshire, if we need to take some rubbish to the local tip ....... sorry, Household Recycling Centre, we have to book a 15 minute slot online.

I'm informed that if I fail to obey all the rules and regulations when booking a slot, it means I would be breaking the law, which could mean possibly being locked up for 10 years and/or a fine of £5,000.

This is an extract from the Wiltshire Council Recycling site of what could happen if I break the law: On conviction, this offence is liable to penalties in the Magistrates Court of imprisonment for up to 12 months or a fine of £5,000 (or both) and to penalties in the Crown Court of imprisonment for up to 10 years or a fine (or both).

They didn't explain what would incur these penalties, but I'm getting worried. What if I turn up 5 minutes late, or maybe fail to bring evidence of identity? Is it worth me booking a slot - I don't fancy 10 years inside?

[youngmafbog]

It's the era of the jobsworth. Soon the worm will turn a and this lot will be 'up against the wall'.

[douglas9401]

Nip down to B&M and stock up on soap and shampoo, just in case.

[jno]

no, those will just mean you won't be allowed in. Try getting there on time next time, and with some form of identification.

Sorted.

[youngmafbog]

Dont forget the Bog Roll Dougie

[douglas9401]

"Try getting there on time next time, and with some form of identification."

Ah, 'PAPERS!', gotcha.

[vulcan42]

I've been booking visits to my local recycling site for a few weeks now. They don't want proof of identity, when I book all they require is the car registration number which they check at the entrance. I've arrived a few minutes early and a few late but there were no problems.

[Buenchico]

>>> They didn't explain what would incur these penalties

Yes they did. It's 'providing untrue or misleading information, whether express or implied':
https://ibb.co/61M4JTW

So don't tell them to expect a 6'2" blonde Adonis with rippling biceps, driving a brand new Lamborghini, and you'll probably be safe ;-)

[jno]

plastic should do, douglas.

[Mamyalynne]

https://www.wiltshire.gov.uk/household-recycling-centres-book




Legal notice
In submitting this application, I understand that if I have provided untrue or misleading information, whether express or implied, I may be committing an offence of fraud by false representation under Section 2 of the Fraud Act 2006. On conviction, this offence is liable to penalties in the Magistrates Court of imprisonment for up to 12 months or a fine of £5,000 (or both) and to penalties in the Crown Court of imprisonment for up to 10 years or a fine (or both).

[Old_Geezer]

Maybe just don your balaclava and mask (of course) and drop it off at the council doorstep in the middle of the night. Will avoid all the 10 years inside risk.

[douglas9401]

Thank you, YMB, schoolboy error.#

Incidentally, just tried my own council website to book in and the only clickable date was today, last entry 16:40.

Makes you weep this world.

[shoota]

It will probably be an open prison so there will be the opportunity to take up a hobby, write a book or work in the prison gardens. Perhaps even to work in the community in order to expunge your heinous transgression.

[jno]

more likely transgressors will just be put to work in the tip, shoota.

[Jackdaw33]

Notice the phrase: "I MAY be committing an offence", not "I will be".

[Deskdiary]

I haven't needed to go to a dump since the booking a slot rules came in, thank gawd, but if ever there was a hive on jobsworthiness, the local dump is a perfect example.

I accept they have their rules, but the way they slavishly follow them without applying any common sense is bananas.

Last year, when the world was normal and people hadn't lost their minds, I took down my kid's timber playhouse; I loaded most of it into my retired FILs van (in retirement he now repairs lawn mowers to keep himself occupied) and the rest into my car. We turn up at the dump and start unloading, when we're approached, and shouted at that we're not allowed commercial waste on a Saturday. I explained it wasn't commercial waste, and was clearly domestic, and was then told we weren't allowed a commercial vehicle. By this time the van is half-unloaded, but we're told to leave. So, long story short, we park just outside the dump, decant some of the timber into my car, and then freely use the dump; it took three trips...thus taking up more time at the dump that other people could be using.

Had I have known I could get 10 years in chokey, I would have meekly walked away. Yes, I s'pose I should have checked beforehand, but it really didn't occur to me - I mean what's the difference between a small van and an estate car?

Madness.

[Barmaid]

I'd chuck out your tinned stuff, if I were you.

[youngmafbog]

Or a pcik up - classed as a commercial vehicle.


And they wonder why fly tipping is rife.

Nobheads the lot of them

[youngmafbog]

I need to go for a dump regularly, I reckon Mrs YMB would happily fine me £10K !

[wiltsman]

https://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/p/prison_uniforms.asp

Thanks for your replies. I've been checking out my prison uniform!

[youngmafbog]

Has it got arrows on it?