my son has turned really naughty

[kc79]

can anyone offer me any advice.my 7 year old son used to be really good and kind,but over the last month he has changed.he was being bullied at school but we got that all that sorted out.in the last 2 weeks i have been called in to see his teacher 3 times already as at play times he flies off the handle and keeps fighting with people.it was the last straw today when he broke a school hockey stick in a rage.(a plastic one)his teacher is doing a star chart for him this week where he earns a star if he has a good play.i don't think this will work as i've already taken away his prized playstation for a week which hurt him,but he's still playing up at school.i've asked if anyone is bullying him but he said no.any advice would be great.does he need anger management???

[aims1202]

I'm not sure if this will work for you as your son isa bit older but my 4 yr old son was, a few weeks ago, playing up a little at pre school. He kept saying the teachers were shouting at him and telling him off all the time. He also seemed different at home. I spoke to them about it as i was worried. They said that he had been hitting other kids and snatching toys a lot and that he hadnt really been doing this before. They said they didnt shout but did raise their voices. i asked them if he was getting praise as well and they said he was. i said i was worried he was anxious about something and thats why his behaviour might be bad. I
think since i talked to them they have been praising him more as i think they realised it was to do with him feeling anxious.
I also started giving him much more attention at home and have been trying to keep really calm and be more patient with him. i am being really firm about what i think is unacceptable like hitting someone or throwing toys. i tell him he has a chance to change what he's doing or he will sit in the hallway. if he does it again i put him in the hallway with door open for about minute or less. Then i tell him he's good for staying there and why he went there. then i just forget it.
So far it is really working and he seems happier and is behaving much better. there have been no more problems at pre school and he is enjoying it more too.
As he's older you could try talking to him about it more, asking him how he feels about things and he might tell you if something is bothering him. I think its best not to get cross or take things away if possible but give rewards for good behaviour instead, even if its for just not behaving badly or if he's tried. one thing to remember is that its the behaviour thats bad not him, so avoid telling him he's naughty. Good luck!

[sense4all]

Try to be kind - you are not alone ... this might be the reason a surge of hormones. Check out the seventh paragraph. I remember a wee exchange we had with my own lil' darlin' ayt that age. It could be any entirely pysiological change and not his fault.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/life/feature/story/0 ,13026,1428573,00.html

[dimwithwit]

It sounds to me like he feels he can't do anything right. If he has been bulied that takes alot out of them. Heve you tried him with out of school activities such as matial arts or sailing or horse rinding or cubs anything where he we feel a sense of achievement. he doesn't need to feel that if he fails at school it's the end, he can make friends all over the place, have you tried holiday club where he doesn't know anyone, sounds cruel- but it;s a great way to build confidence and communication skills. Good luck - let us know how you get on - thinking about you!!

[kc79]

he goes to beavers and he goes to dance.this weekend he hasn't been too bad.he teacher has made a deal with him that if he is good at school this week then he can take his gineau pigs to school to show at end of week,so he is trying really hard for that.

[aims1202]

That is so good! Give him loads of praise and hugs for trying so hard. You must be doing a good job especially since you've had seven years with no problems!
I would recommend this book to help, Raising Boys by Steve Biddolph.

[sarah1987]

my sister was exactly the same. she was being bullied at secondary school at the age of 12 and me and my mum went into the school to sort this out. we thought it had all been sorted but it hadnt, it just got much worse for her, bless her. she started to become very angry and distraughtful at home and would not become involved in any family activities etc. being bullied affects children in many different ways and alot of children become angry. i hope everything turns out okay

[all answers]

slap the kid and get it over with