Mens Rights

[LeighGammon]

the way men have no rights towards there children is riduclas fair enough there are some fathers who are wastes of space but there are some like myself who want to see and give there best to there children

[jane1098]

whats happened?

[LeighGammon]

the mother of my child ended our relationship 3months into her pregnancy..she had the baby in october i found out last week.....
she has not put my name on the birth certificate and she has coming knocking for money..she can have what she wants for the baby however i want my name on the certificate but she does not....
no i have no rights to see the child...

[x_Leila_x]

what ur ex partner has done - ive done to my partner - he didnt want to come with me on the day of signing - so now i dont want it on at all, have you spoke to her about it??

I took my ex to the csa (my daughter was also born in october) i explained to him fully why i did what i did...

talk to her and ask for an explanation!!!!

[LeighGammon]

i know every situtaion is different, this is a nightmare for me as ive laways dreamed of having children, i have a stable safe background good job own home.
She says that she doesnt have time to put my name on there although she could have from the start as she knows i am the father...
i held my baby for the 1st time sunday for an hour..he is 3months old...
she says i would have a say in the child upbringing if im on the certificate..however as i am the father that should be my right..im not expecting to see the baby everyday however at least once a week or everyother weekend and she is not happy about that yet from the minute i knew she had the baby i have helped her financial as that is my duty as a dad

[x_Leila_x]

Have you done something to upset her??

Is there anything you can do to make it right?
Men do have rights - to get your name on the certificate you have to go the place where they put the name on, make an appoitment - you have to have a DNA test, unless she is willing to come with you to put your name on it - thats they only way you can get your name on it, then you will have rights :)

I no all this becaus the same thing is happening to me - just the other way round x

[LeighGammon]

Leila i really appriate your advice and thank you...
well we split up as i lied about my age, however everyone believes this was an easy route out of the relationship..after 18months 2gether.
im willing to do anything and at the moment i am bending over backwards to keep her happy at my heart ache so i get to see him as becuase as i am not on the certificate she can stop me all together...anytime the solictor has said...
I can understand this with fathers who are wastes of space druggies alcholics violent dads etc but others then suffer..
my baby boy is my life and i want to be a part of his> i am quite prepared to go to the csa myself if it means getting my name on the certificate..

[x_Leila_x]

i took my partner to the csa - only because he was refusing to pay anything for our 3 month old daughter!! He picks and choose's when he wants to see her and i wont stand for it!! Do you want the number for the CSA ? x

[Goodsoulette]

Leigh Gammon, take her to court. Yiu can have yourname put on the birth certificate after a pertinity test if she lies and says it isn;t your. Start arranging to give her a little bit of money each month, even if its only a tenner a week and that way it will look even better in the court room. You will be entitled to access and as the child gets older, you will be granted 2 weekends a month and holidays.

You do have rights.

[LeighGammon]

THANK YOU FOR THAT
currently i am giving her �200 a month and �50 in premium bonds so i know my child will see something when he is older...
he comes 1st as far as i am conbcered

[x_Leila_x]

you give her quiet alot already then x

[LeighGammon]

well its a struggle but i would rather struggle than my child
money is not everything

[jane1098]

sorry i didnt get to answer you leigh but by the looks of it you have some really good answers from incitefull people.
i hope you will get your name on the birth certificate because it should change your status with rights to your child.
all the best.

[redcrx]

just a quick post. Make sure the money you are giving her is documented somehow, paid by cheque or something.
This is just in case she is claiming benefits on top as the CSA will try and get you to pay again if its not proved youre paying.

[Schlomo78]

redcrx is right, make sure you py her by cheque or standing order so you have a record-my hubby got bitten by the csa as he was giving his ex cash and could not prove he had been giving her money!
Good luck mate

[LeighGammon]

what makes me laugh is how can they say that the husband has to pay ie: �300 a month.. does that mean if the parents where together they would be paying �600 a month to bring the child up..
it is unrealistic and I am sure there are fathers out there in the same situation as me...
the worst thing is she will get legal aid and I wont and i hav eheard this runs into thousands which i dont have....
so will have to way up the choice lose my house and fight for my baby or keep my house and my baby has something when im not around... the mother wins everytime >>>>>

[Goodsoulette]

If they say yu have to pay 300 quid a month you will be on a relatively good wage. She has to cloth, bath, heat the house etc and you have to contibute towards that. If say she is privately renting 2 beds for 600 quid, add council tax on top of that, then electric etc before hse even gets into food and clothes that could easily be a grand a month. So say you have to pay your quarter of that to bring her up. CSA are pretty fair, they wont make you pay more than you can afford and if she is on benefits she will none of that.

If she is on benefits, tell her to put you on the birth certificate and you can keep paying her in person, without the agency stepping in and she will keep getting the money. If she says no and you have evidence you have been giving her money, threaten to dob her into the benefits agency.

Leigh, the mother doesnt win everytime at all. There are hundreds upn thousands of mums who get diddly squat, eg me. I even lost most of the house contents that I PAID For when we split up.

[LeighGammon]

thats fair enough there are two types of mother and two types of fathers however all you hear off is the bad fathers never the bad mothers
and they are out there, im not saying she is a bad mother by a long way but im saying the situation is

[x_Leila_x]

why dont you call the csa - and ask for there advice ?

[LittleMissxx]

u do have rights. U can have parental responsibility without being on the birth certificate. I know this because my ex did not want to be on it and isnt, but years later when he wanted to bother, took me to court and they gave it to him no contest. He chooses when he wants to see her, does not pay support, yet i cannot do anything without his consent, such as change name, move out of the country etc etc, so really , the ball is in the mans court. Speak to a solicitor, u will be fine. Shame there arnt a few more like u out there. Good luck.

[dot.hawkes]

It is too late to alter the certificate now but yes you can get a court judgement awter a paternity test, i think i've answered this already. anyway, if she is claiming benefit and you are giving her money she is probably claiming fraudulantly, you need to ask her i think, give her the money directly as a standing order