what do you think?

[ethanryan]

hi all, i need some advice. as some of you know i have 2 boys aged 1 and 2. my sister has 3 children all girls, aged newborn, 4 and 7. the problem is she has a major drink problem and is getting worse. if she carries on she will either kill herself or have her girls taken off her. she has agreed to get help if either me or mom will take her girls in while she goes and gets help. my mom works monday to friday and needs to work to pay he mortgage as she is not entitled to any help. i dont work. i know it will be so much hard work with 5 children as i am only 24 but i cannot see them go into care. my mom has said that she could have them from a fri evening till sunday evening which would leave me to have them monday to friday. what would you lot do? it is the only way she will get help. i was tempted to inform socail services for the sake of the girls but that would mean them going into care and i cant let that happen, i have a good reletionship with the girls and know they would be happy with me, but im not sure i would cope.

what would you do?

[rosiewesti]

What an awful dilema for you - you must already be run off your feet with your own family.

I would personally seek professional help, find out all the options, Social Services actually want to keep families together.
You could call Social Services and speak to them in confidence you do not have to give you name or your sisters, but they will tell you everything you need to know.

Far better that you do it, because it won't be long before someone else does report her!

I have a friend who lost her husband last year and she had 5 children, whilst she was receiving help , her children went into a local short term foster home, spending weekends with their grandma - after 5 months all was well and the children are now back with their mother.
Best of luck.

[Beanmistriss]

I have no advice but just wanted to say well done you! You're doing a wonderful thing for the kids and will make an immesurable diffirence to their lives. Good luck x

[aims1202]

Sorry but i havent read others answers. If i was in your situation i would take on the girls, i think you will surprise yourself by how well you will cope. You could contact Homestart for extra support, they help anyone caring for children who need it no matter what the circumstances.
I wish all the best.

[ethanryan]

hi aims thankyou i will look into it. it is now day 2 of having the girls with me and so far is not that bad but i do realise it will get harder. will just try my best.

[aims1202]

well done to you! you are doing an amazing thing and those girls will never forget it. dont be afraid to ask for help if you need it though, take care

[homerbart]

I am not a mother myself but I do know there are loads of help out there - as someone suggested you need to contact Social Services as they will do everything in their power to keep children together - I know this 100% as it has happened in my street where SS supported the mother whilst children were in foster care. They done absolutely everything for her but alas they were adopted 2 weeks ago.

Social Services will help you with material things - JUST ASK - like if you need car seats (I know you dont drive) but somebody who helps might need car seat . Also money to buy clothes as you will be out of pocket. In fact I know you are the aunt but if you became their foster carer you would be in pocket a great deal and rightly so. You would get plenty of money to deal with this situation. Get Social Services on your case - they are very good. Good luck!!!!

[Whoever]

I think you are being very brave to try and take on your sister's children. Are you 100% sure this isn't going to destroy your own family relationships? Also, I wonder if this isn't a "cop out" for your alcoholic sister who may feel she can continue drinking because her children are in safe hands. I wonder if she wouldn't have a greater incentive to curb her drinking if she thought her children would be taken into care. Is your sister isn't suffering from post natal depression as a result of her baby's birth and the reason why her drinking has become worse?. Has she sought help from her GP.? I don't want to disillusion you, but I can tell you from personal experience of an alcoholic family member that the likelihood of your sister overcoming her problem is not high. Maybe the only trigger you have to force her to get help is going to Social Services and seeing if her children can be fostered for a while. I very much doubt whether you will be able to cope indefinitely with five young children. Your own two will undoubtedly suffer so I would specify a time limit of no more than two months (by which time you will probably be tearing your hair out and resorting to the bottle yourself), as well as your partner losing patience. I also suggest that you ban your sister from seeing her children until she has cleaned up her act. That sounds terribly tough but you need to make her understand that if she doesn't stop drinking, her children will be lost to her. Just because they are staying with a family member doesn't mean that she can have unlimited access, and certainly if the children were taken into care, her access would be limited, and probably supervised.

[NJGirl]

Take the girls in.

It's temporary, not forever.