worried about little girl

[waynesgirl]

PLEASE NOT BEFOR EYOU READ-THIS IS VERY DISTURBING!
Hi all-ive just met on of my neibours recently and she has told me something i find rather desturbing and dont know what to do?? She has a 2 year old little girl and said that she was playing with her toys and then got up and went to her room and shut the door. She though the little girl was just playing but when she went in there she was laying on the bed totaly naked with her legs open and (i apologies as this is rather disturbing) was inserting her middle finger in and out of her self.
She told me she has spoken to the health visitor at the clinic and they didnt think much of it but i am very disturbed by this and think it could maybe be a sign she is being abused. Is this something to report as i am stuck with what to do with this???

[oldgrape]

that's a hard question. i don't have a daughter but my son who is nearly 2 is constantly touching himself and my friends little girl (3) touches hers as well. i would think that a child being abused would defiently not be touching there as it would obviously be painful and scary for her. i personal would speak with ur neighbour again and advise her to speak with her child to find out why

[waynesgirl]

Joe-King- i dont see how that makes me weird because im concerned for a child! And as i have a child aswell sometimes people discuss things and i guess she is a very open person. If you havent got anything usefull to say then dont say anything at all!!!

[waynesgirl]

oldgrape- her little girl can just about put 2 words together, i dont think she would have much chance getting that much info from her. I was thinkng the same as you- but what she explained sounded like a bit more than just her child exploring herself!

[oldgrape]

it may be so innocent and no need to worry! if you do feel that more is going on then that's up to you. only you will know if more is going on is this little girl happy and confident or withdrawn and shy

[waynesgirl]

oldgrape- she seems like a happy little girl but my neighbour said she can be funny around her dad and grandad. as i dont know the ins and outs of her life i can't really say how her home life is, but iv'e not heard of anything like this before it sounded a bit strange to me.

[waynesgirl]

Joe-king- Well as my child is only 11 months old he would have a bit of difficulty spelling! But i would say his manners and respect are far better than yours already so he's not dong to bad is he!!

Isn't there any traffic for you to play with or something as your views are getting rather boring now!

[ojread2]

Actually do you know what I find disturbing about this? not the fact that someone who you, in your own words, have just met so don't know from Adam, would tell you this but the fact the 2 year old needed to go behind a closed door to do it - that tells me there is something a bit more than weird going on here.

Even when my youngest went through this she would do it in full open view and not hide it away. It's almost as if she has been told it must be kept secret? And my youngest never did that with her finger/s

If you need to ask here does that not tell you you are worried? What do you think you should do? Is it better to have a visit (for the child) from SS or better that you sit wondering *what if*.

Personally I think you are right to feel disturbed

[beanebabe]

Not much to add to what has already been said (I have a girl and boy and both have gone through phases of being rather interested in what's down below but normally things have gone on in the bath and not behind closed doors - as far as I know). The girl sounds a bit young to be doing such things! What about calling Childline or other child abuse organisation for advice - they'll have heard it all before and will know whether more should be read into it.

[waynesgirl]

Ojread2+beanebabe- I agree with what you are both saying, but needed to be completely sure before i reported this to anyone. To be honest with you i think that the childs mum is maybe telling me as a cry for help or just to see how i react as she could have her own suspicions about this. Her partner is always on drugs and is violent to her and she says she cant leave him so i think she feels worthless and gets whatever she can off her chest while shes 'allowed' out..
I am definatly going to report it- i cant stand by and let this little girl go through whatever it is thats happening to her!!

[tigwig]

I think you are right to report this let us know what they say

[showcatbenga]

I think you should report it, plus the context in which you were told about it, to the police. If they are concerned they will act. If it turns out to be a wind up then the mother will be advised/cautioned. Otherwise you are right about a 'cry for help' from the mother. She may act like she resents your interference should anything come of your report but then she shouldn't have brought the subject up with you. You know that you would never forgive yourself for not speaking out & after all you will be able to sleep well at night knowing you did the right thing. You can make the report in confidence or annonimously. (drat! I can't spell either!lol)

[nannon]

It does seem weird she would do this if she was being abused as in usual cases she would be frightened and sore. Unless she is being told to do this to herself my someone else, which is just as bad. Or rehaps she has watched something and it copying it which as well is just as bad! Touching i realise is normal but 'inserting; i wouldnt have thought was normal at all.

The only thing you have to be careful of is that if you are the only person she has told you may not as be as anon. as you think!
But personally i would def. report it as i think it is far from normal!

I would rather report it and risk being wrong than not report it and later find out something horrific.

[terambulan]

A very disturbing situation.....please contact the NSPCC....their tv adverts depict just this sort of abuse. Am interested in the NSPCCs response since we raise a lot of money for them.

I do hope you will do right by this child and not neglect her welfare

[sara3]

if this is genuine you have to report it, but only the facts as you know them. you can't say this definitely happened because you don't know.
it's possible that the neighbour is a fruitcake and has made it up, but she shouldn't be saying such things, especially to a virtual stranger.
if it's genuine report it. you can't have something like this on your conscience.