How can I trace the burial site of my stillborn sister.

[kilkenny]

The year was 1964, a home birth in Romford Essex. Our sister was removed by the midwife, no funeral, no counselling no nothing.

I wouild love to mark her resting place. Any help would be great.

Kilkenny

[CAJ1]

Have you tried the Records Office in Essex? They may be able to assist you.

Good luck, I hope you find it.

[Lil O'lady]

The local council of the town you were both born in is responsible for keeping records of burials, and must have a record of this sad event. So you need to find out who now runs Romford's cemeteries - a phone call to the council should establish that.
However Kilkenny brace yourself, because at that time it was still the practice for stillborn babies to be buried at the foot of any grave open at the time without parental involvement. But the council's responsibility was to record this, so there should be a cemetery ledger somewhere with this entry in it.

[Booldawg]

off topic, but did anyone else read the first sentence in a Hollywood action film trailer voice?

[unhappychick]

As a Romford resident, I can let you know the names and addresses of cemetaries in the romford area?

Let me know if you want me to do this for you and I will post a reply with all the info you need!

[kilkenny]

Unhappychick - the list would be much appreciaited.

Thanks

[unhappychick]

Hi Kilkenny, no problem, Ive got the yellow pages in front of me and will list all of the cemetaries that are in there, they are as follows:-

Chadwell Heath Cemetery, Whalebone Lane north, Chadwell Heath, Romford, Essex, RM6..Tel:- 0208 270 4740

Romford Cemetery, Crow Lane, Romford, Essex..Tel:- 01708 740791

South Essex Crematorium, Ockendon Road, Corbets Tey, Romford, Essex..Tel:- 01708 434433

Rippleside Cemetery, Ripple Road, Barking, Essex..Tel:- 0208 270 4740

Forest Park Cemetary, Forest Road, Ilford, Essex..Tel:- 0208 501 2236

And the number for the local council is 01708 434343

Allthough they are not all in Romford, they are in the surrounding areas, really hope this is of some use to you and good luck! -x-

[Tewart]

My brother was a stillbirth in hospital in Middlesex in 1959 - if anyone has any helpful advice on how I would find out the same as Kilkenny it would be appreciated.
Thanks.

[Tan321]

I recently posted a similar question here and after extensive searching came up against a brick wall. However a final desperate letter to the NHS Litigation Department in Romford gave me an answer. My sister died in 1965 just a few days old however it appears that she was not buried until 2005 hence the reason I could not find any records. I believe this has something to do with Oldchurch Hospital, where she was born, so hopefully with a home birth you will not have this problem, but I should bear the possibility in mind that your sister may not have been buried immediately, so widen your date search parameters. I hope you find her soon. Best wishes.

[dothawkes31]

hi Tan, i think i recall trying to help you with your search, glad you finally have a conclusion.
I know that there was alot of controbversy a few years ago about the retaining of stillborns and maybe that is why you found the burial was only oin 2005.
I think the midwife in 1965 would have had a duty to register the stillbirth and take the baby to the mortuary at the local hospital surely

[Tan321]

I just wanted to say that today I rang the NHS Litigation Dept again to ask why there was such a long gap between my sister's death and her burial and got the reply "oops sorry that was a typo. It should have read she was buried on 24 December 1965 NOT 2005". So check and double check any information you get.

Thanks Dothawks for all your help. We now have a grave number for Deborah and will be travelling to Romford soon to mark her last resting place.

[Wesley1]

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[Wesley1]

Dear Kilkenny

I have only just seen your question today, but I still hope you see my response. Very nearly the exact same thing happened to my mother.

She gave birth to a stillborn baby girl in Romford in 1958 in my aunt's prefab. The midwife, nurse Sexton, said as it was my mum's first baby, it would be a while before her labour was in full flow, and went off to deliver a lady's third baby. By the time she got back, my mum was in trouble, and had a huge haemorage and lost a lot of blood and lost consciousness. When she came round (still at my aunts prefab), the flying squad was there with her doctor, and her baby was gone. She never even as much as saw or held her baby. Just like with your mum, there was no counselling, no funeral, nothing. They (the doctor/mid-wife/hosptial) treated it almost as though it had never happened.

When my mum first told me of this many years later (in the 1980's), I called Old Church Hosptial (I know it has gone now), and they checked their mortuary records and said my mum's baby had been taken to Co-op Funeral Directors in Rush Green (tel is 01708 752617), so I don't know if that was an arrangement the hospital had with them, but you may want to call them . They looked in their archive records and told me my mum's baby had been buried in Eastbrook End Cemetary, (tel [phone]). This counts as Dagenam and Havering Council, so if you had no luck with Romford Council, you may want to spread out the area you search a little and start with them.

I know others here have said babies were sometimes buried with an adult, and I know this could sometimes be the practice, but my mum's baby was buried in a plot with 15 other babies who died around that period, with each grave containing 4 babies, so not all cemetaries have the same practices. At last, after nearly 30 years of not knowing, my mum got to see the final resting place of her first little baby girl. We have a granite vase on her gra

[Wesley1]

grave, and we even had a naming service for her at Old Church Hosptial Chapel (Jeanette), so there can be a rainbow at the end of a very dark storm, so please don't loose hope.

If you haven't already tried Romford Cemetery, Crow Lane, their tel is 01708 740 791.

You might want to try calling St George's Hosptial (is that the new Romford Hospital?) and asking if they have Old Church Hospitals mortuary records. They should have. Whatever you do, stay firm and don't let people fob you off. When I first called Old Church, the lady I spoke to had no interest in mum's story and told me to write in. I don't she could possibly have understood how difficult that would have been for mum, and I was not going to ask her to do that, so I called another day. This time I had a lot more luck and was put through to a man called Barry Lee, Admin/Supporter Services. It was him who checked the mortuary records for us.

You could try calling St Georges and asking for him, as it's possible he is still there, but if he isn't maybe ask to speak to his replacement. If they aren't that responsive, you might even want to refer to my story, to demonstrate they can actually be of help if they wanted to be. Just make sure you stand firm and get people to help you. Some won't want the hassle of looking through old records, but don't let them talk you into letting them do nothing. You could even say you want them to say they won't help in writing. No one likes that. Just make sure people come through for you. Your mum and you have been through a lot and the authorities owe you.

I really do hope you find your sister. You have my heart-felt support. xx