BIG Problem - Part 1!

[daniela]

Hello I hope someone out there can give me some advice on what to do here because I'm going mad!! Please be patient because I know it's really long! I work with this guy, lets call him Dan and from the moment I saw him which was back in March, I immediately fancied him. I then later found out he had a girlfriend of 2 years this November. I thought 'oh well what can I do, it's just a crush anyway, it'll pass like they always do', but this one has stuck! I can't get him out of my head! We are very good friends now but I dont think I can ever tell him how I feel! I know his girlfriend as she works in the same place as us so it would be soooo awkward if I was to say anything. She'd already thought I like Dan in that way, though I lied my a** off and convinced her otherwise thankfully. She's kinda having a tough time trusting Dan since he cheated on her near the beginning of the relationship when she told him she loved him and he freaked out, got off with someone else but then only to realise he loved her too. Plus they argue all the time! And I'm talking about 3 fallouts a day here! There's more I'm afraid!! One night, me, Dan and a couple of workmates were out but we lost them in the club so ended up alone. As we started dancing he began to kinda feel me up, I thought it was just his way of dancing and thought none of it but then when I turned round to face him I could swear he was leaning in to kiss me though I moved away, (you can't even blame it on alcohol as he doesn't drink alot and that night he had one bottle of beer.) Also you'd like to know he doesn't drink because he apparently cheats when he drinks he told me once, but it has never happened that I know of! Anyway as I was saying, I knew it was wrong and if I did it I would only feel worse cos A) he'd go back to her and B) he'd probably tell her which would make work so awkward.

[jennymac]

You have to ask yourself if he cheats now will he cheat on me and the answer is probably yes. I know that when you are feeling this strong for someone you dont want to let go, but be strong and go out and enjoy yourself there are plenty of people out there. Go and find yourself someone who will feel the same as you. Love is something that develops in a relationship and the more committed you are to each other the stronger it will become. A relationship built on lies and cheating is doomed from the start because trust will never be there. I am a firm believer in you can love more than one person, maybe differently but a relationship between two people is about trust and committment, without either it will surely end in tears.

[brindle421]

thats a tough one. would you really like to date soemone that has cheated in the past. here is what i would do. make a list of the goods and the bads. what one has more? how is his relationship with his girlfriend? is it strong or just ok? look at all the possiblities. if they argue lots just be his friend for now. he might realize that you are the better choice. good luck

[daniela]

Hey this was 2 years ago, i've well moved on, i have a lovely bf who i love and he loves me back! i quit my job and i dont even talk to the guy anymore. thanks for posting though x