race

[lozzylou]

my son is 3 and has not long ago started nursery. he came home on friday and asked me why his friend mason had a black face and he had a white one. i was stumped and didnt really know how to explain. but luckily i was saved by the telephone and he forgot about it. how do u explain this to a 3 year old in a way that they will understand

[redcrx]

just say that thats how his mummy made him, just as you gave your little boy brown eyes and brown hair (or whatever colour) and leave it at that. Just explain that everyone has different looks and no-one looks exactly the sme as anyone else unless they are twins.

That might work :)

[lozzylou]

its a nightmare now he is at that age. we were on a bus a while ago and he shouted out why is that mans face black. everyone just stared at me i was so embarrased.

[redcrx]

well then just answer him each time with that. Dont get dragged into all the race and religion stuff, its not needed yet and too complicated, unless of course his friend isnt british and speaks a different language, then thats different

Little CRX once asked me why a chap had a large pushchair when the guy was in a wheelchair, and i just said cos hes tired and needs to sit down. he never questions it now.

[annie0000]

I agree, just say that people are all diffrent and isn't it lovely - if we all looked the same then we wouldn't know who was who and we would get all mixed up.

[ddaisy992]

yes i agree tel him its natural cause the more he makes a fuss the more likely it will seem that the others are different. Its not a big deal now too be of non white or mixed race, its good.0 )

[andy-hughes]

I know how you feel lozzylou - my youngest and I were on a bus when she was three, and she had never seen a black perso before. A black man got on, and immediately caught her attention, and she started at him for a few minutes, before anouncing at the top of her voice -

"Daddy, that man has got BLACK SKIN!"

"Yes sweetheart," I rerplied, "He is a black man."

She seemed satisfied with this, then after a few more minutes intense examination, she informed in a stage whisper that the entire lower deck heard -

"He's got BLACK EARS!"

The gentleman who was about sixty, smiled sweetly at her, and she smiled back.

That's what inter-racial harmony is all about!

[lorri24601]

When my daughter was about 3 she used to watch the disney film, jungle book, over and over again, she loved it.Then one day when we were shopping in sainsburys a little chinese boy went passed being pushed in a trolley, luckily they had already passed by my line of sight as a shrill little voice announced very loudly whilst pointing at the trolley "look mummy a man cub" i did not know where to look lol

[ddaisy992]

the jungle book has a lot too answer for! 0 )

[sara3]

you answer your children's question honestly without going into more detail than they will comprehend.

"yes, we're all different colours, shapes and sizes, but we're all people just the same."

this should cover the "why is he/she so fat? why is he/she so short? why do they look different?" etc.

it's very important that they realise, no matter what anyone looks like.. we're all just people.

[Tups]

Strange, neither of my children or my grandchild even noticed the colour of their friends' skin. My son often talked about his best friend at school. One day I suggested he brought him home for tea. I was amazed when they got off the school coach to find he was Indian. I felt really warmed by the fact my son just hadn't thought it relevant to tell me. Surely that's the way things SHOULD be??

[redcrx]

i suppose it depends on the child tups and how they think. Kids come up with all sorts of questions. My son never said a word when i was breastfeeding (he'd never seen such a thing before) and yet i know of kids who'd be inquisitive and ask what it was.
They are all interested in different things. Its what we as parents (and family) say that will affect how they look at such things afterwards.

[Velvetee]

I don't know why you should feel race is embarrassing, all you have to say is people come in all different shapes, sizes and colours and thats the way of the world, we are all still people and the outside appearance doesn't matter.

If you need a visual aid, maybe take some building blocks of different colours and sizes and explain, they are all the same building blocks, but they are just all different colours and shapes and people are the same.