Preventing inappropriate language at home

[gadgetgeek]

What would be the best way of stopping my 12 year old son from using inappropraite 'playground' language and cursing at home? Its really starting to grate on the family. I know it goes on at school etc, most of us did it, but I never did (and still dont) in front of my mum n dad! I also dread him saying something he shouldnt in front of family or friends. Thank u

[redcrx]

when i was a kid and we used unnaceptable language we had to bite into a bar of soap.
That does the trick

[B00]

you mean he's swearing at you? Or as general conversation?

Either way, I'd find that totally unacceptable and it'd would incur groundings, loss of priviledges etc in my house.

[4getmenot]

yep me and redcrx never got it, our brother did :-)

[Sqad]

"Clip across the ear"

Sorry I realise that modern methods are more successful.

[B00]

rofl, who says Sqad?

If my eldest ever made the mistake of letting her guard down when she still lived at home and swore around either me or the hubby, she got a clump across the head.

[Sqad]

BOO....LOL

[yinyang]

Put out a swear box and tell you will put £1 of his allowance into it every time he swears in front of you. Use the money for a night out with your partner and don't invite him.

[S_C]

simply enlight the said child this language is not acceptable .

advicing that many who use such inappropriate language do so through an inability to elaborte themselves without such language may help.

however if this child does not compy simply impose a punishment every time such inapropriate behavour is displayed, until the child understands and realises it will result in loss of privilages or what ever punishment is impossed.

[B00]

a pound? That's it? I'd put the lot in it :-)

Considering the cost of a night out it'd take months to gather enough money for a night out at a quid a go, my way he learns a harder lesson and you get to go out sooner.

[mccfluff]

clip round the lughole and grounding/no pocket money/extra chores ought to get teh message home

[mrs_overall]

I would sit him down and calmly explain your rules on inappropriate language.

If he did it again after that I'd skelp his backside.

[yinyang]

Depends how much he's doing it, Boo.If they have a budding Billy Connelly on their hands the money will soon add up.

The first time my husband ever swore in front of his parents he came out with the immortal' oh f****** f***s of f***land' - that would have been £3 right away!

[daffy654]

My older two children got their priveleges stopped if ever they swore or cursed around me, my youngest son who is now 12 rarely swears but if he does we explain to him why it is unacceptable, that usually works with him, due to him having asperger syndrome he doesn't always realise that swearing is not appropriate.

[redcrx]

yep, he'll be right fecking peed off wont he lol

[B00]

Pfft at poor lad, you're such a softy Vibra ;-)

It really doesn't matter what words he's actually saying, if his parents dont like the words, regardless of what they are, he shouldn't be saying them- it really is that simple.

[andy-hughes]

An important part of parenthood is developing your child's ability to act appropriately in different social situations. You need to have a talk with him, and explain that what may be acceptable in his peer group in terms of the way he speaks, is not appropriate in the way he speaks at home.

As an example, tell him to think about how he would feel if you spoke to him the way you would a pet dog. Shouted commands of "Here! Sit! Stay!" and so on are fine for an animal, but would he appreciate the same approach himself?


Point out that people's perception of him is a result of how he behaves, which may not be fair, but it is a part of living in the adult world. If he behaves like an attention-seeking child, people will see, and react to him as exactly that.

Explain that he is growing into a young man, and you want people to think well of him, and this will only happen if he begins to act like an adult. That includes using adult speech patterns, which do not include inappropriate (there is no such thing as 'bad' or 'strong' language - just language, and how it is applied) language.

[andy-hughes]

ctd. -

Finish by saying that you want to treat him like an adult, which is what he is rapidly becoming, and will be pleased if he accepts what you expect in your home, as you would from anyone, including each other as parents. If he continues to behave like a child, point out that this is his choice, and his childish behaviour begets appropriate sanctions - early bed, not TV, no going out - punishments to be ratcheted up until he comes to accept that the choice is his - maturity of discomfort.

When he does behave - and sooner or later he will, emphasise how much happier you are living as adults together. Most children have a character that responds to praise - it's human nature.

Be patient, be firm, be consistent. Don't row, don't yell, but apply your punishments fairly and completely.

A child who does not learn appropriate behaviour in the home is unlikely to learn it in the wide world, where people are far less tolerant and forgiving. Act now, and prepare your son for the world outside his secure home environment, with the tools to make his way easier, not harder.

[Sandy-Wroe]

Tell him to stop and use the same type of language. Then ask him how he feels about being on the receiving end.