Unmarried Father's Custody Rights?

[Parklane17]

My son and his partner split last August when she left him. They have a baby son together who is now 16 months old. He is a fantastic Dad and wanted his son as much as he could and as he works shifts, initially he had him more than half the time. Earlier this year she wanted to get back with him and because he couldn't trust her and didn't want to, she has turned into this bitter and twisted girl and has made his life as difficult as possible, by reducing the time he spends with his son, by lying, manipulating, controlling until he was only seeing him 2 nights.

He spoke to his solicitor and because he thought he had legal rights for equal custody, as he is on the birth certificate, he stood up to her and told her he would be having his son for three nights from now on. He informed her that he would be keeping him for an extra night and would bring him back the next day which he did. She then sent him a text, said she had spoken to her solicitor and he would not be having him again till after it goes to court. His solicitor tells him there is nothing he can do and she is going for full custody.

I am a woman and a mother, but what has happened to equal rights for fathers and why can a woman control and dictate every step of way and fathers don't seem to have the legal rights in law that they are supposed to have. (His solicitor seems to be as much use as a chocolate fire guard!)

Can someone please give us advise on how we fight this and stop her having all the control? He only wants equal custody and would not ever deprive his son of equal time with his mother.

Please help if you can.. as we don't know how we can face the thought of not having him for months!
Many Thanks, Kind Regards

[mollykins]

My brother was in a similar situation a few months ago. But he works away offshore, 3 weeks home, 3 weeks away which makes the situation more difficult.

To start with he got to see his daughter for 3 x 2hours a week (decided by the courts), plus whenever it suited the mum if she wanted to go out etc, but not to stay overnight, plus his new girlfriend couldn't be there.

Gradually he's getting more and more time with her and is now allowed her overnight and his girlfriend is allowed to be there.

Plus they live in Wales, i don't know if that makes any diference.

[mollykins]

Plus he's also getting extra time with her because the mum somehow got the new girlfriends number and was sending hate messages to her, which they provided as evidence in court. Also, the mum calls the girlfriend a cow infront of her daughtwer and when my brother went to collect her, she gave my brother some grass and said 'heres some grass for the cow,' which also got the mum into serious trouble.

[B00]

Mollykins- will all due respect Parklane here is after REAL advise, not ramblings from a 16 year old who (quite rightly) knows nothing about this topic. Please stick to posts you may know something about and please try to refrain from making one of your irrelevant points on as many topics as possible.

Parklane- I really hope someone does come along soon who can offer you and your son genuine advise, or at least point you in the right direction.

Good luck.

[mollykins]

boo, my brother has jsut gone through a very simialr situation, and i am saying how it has ended up with him.

[ummmm]

If it goes to court and presuming she's a good mother then she will get residency. The court will then decide his visitation.

It's not good for children, especially at 16 months, to be moving from one house to another. A routine will be set and should be stuck to.

Although it is best to arrange things without going to court....at least the court sets it in stone.

Molly....I agree with BOO on this one. You're a child.

[mollykins]

plus my neice was about the same age.

I'm not giving legal advice, just saying how a similar situation was resolved, involving my brother and neice. If i had no knowledge or experience of a similar situation and was jsut guessing what might happen i could understand you telling me to shut up, but i am close to someone who this has happened to.

[B00]

That's fair enough Molly- but how does Parklane here go about achieving a suitable outcome?

Your posts above kinda read like a recipe book with the middle pages torn out....

[ummmm]

Molly...you just rattle on about YOU. You post...and then think...oh I forgot something, so post again. Sometimes again and again....

[tigwig]

I don't know anything about the legal side of this but can only suggest your son keeps on trying to resolve this amicably and tells her how this is going to affect the child. She needs to think about her child's feelings in this and situations like this make me feel really upset for the child stuck in the middle. Sorry if this isn't much help!

[AlBags]

Hopefully the court will see through this and realise the bitterness shining through from one of the parties.


Molly, we love you really .. keep it short and sweet in these serious matters tho ; )

[Parklane17]

Thanks for all your responses and support!
We will endevour to do everything we can to make sure he gets to see his baby!
I have just been hanging babies clothes on the line for the last time.. so very tearful at the moment!
It just makes me so angry that immature, bitter mothers can play god with their kids and use them as weapons for their own ends and fathers seems to be so powerless to do anything!