18th birthday

[slinky.kate]

my grandson will be 18 next week he doesnt keep in touch with his dad or family,i am the one to make all the moves,phoning,writing,meeting him,sometimes i think he just wants whatever he can get from me then wont get in touch again til i make the next move,for the first time ever i sent him a xmas card with NO money in it,still havent heard from him,so???? do i put something in his 18th card.

[slinky.kate]

i am just writing a nice message in it just now and giving him my phone number again to give him the option if he wants to get in touch or not.

[sara3]

as above.. I stopped sending money and gifts to my ungrateful (adult) nieces last year.

[ummmm]

Sounds like he doesn't deserve a gift...

[Sqad]

slinky....this is not an uncommon situation, indeed in my opinion it is the rule rather than the exception. No thank you, no present. I haven´t sent my grandchildren anything for 10 years for exactly that reason.

[slinky.kate]

we have all bought him cards just so he knows he's not forgotten,but only little messages in them,no money or pressies.

[ummmm]

That seems fair Slinky....

[ttfn]

kate - why not add the note 'I thought you would find the enclosed useful' - it might determine if he can read and use his powers of deduction, though I wouldn't hold your breath ;o)

[sophie_1003]

It does surprise me when people don't visit their grandparents; my grandparents (on both sides of the family) were a huge part of my childhood and still love going to visit them; in fact, hoping to visit my grandma on Friday!

[ummmm]

I see mine a lot as well...

[wolf63]

My gran was an evil, twisted old witch - but I still sent her a 'thank you' letter.

[carmalee]

slinky kate - just send the card so that he knows you are thinking about him. He's an adult and needs to begin behaving like one.

[tamborine]

Can you afford £18 in premium bonds/lottery/scratch cards; there's as much pleasure in giving as receiving. Nowt gained in churlishness.

[ummmm]

Tambo...so you believe in bad manners??

[slinky.kate]

he does have learning difficulties,but i have put big print in the card,he is also dyslexic(the same as his father)but i think his mum 'might'help him out with that.

[tamborine]

dont assume anything ummmm

[slinky.kate]

yes i can afford £18,but i know i wont hear from him again til i get in touch

[ummmm]

Where am I assuming? The clue '?'

[ttfn]

sorry kate, I take back what I said in my earlier facetious posting. Learning diffs and dyslexia are not funny, even if they don't excuse a lack of manners

[tamborine]

slinky, you could follow up with a phone call to confirm receipt ? Not all are confident writing thank you. At least, you'll feel good for not ignoring his special day.