A bald man with a wooden leg gets asked to a Halloween party.
He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his wooden
leg so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.
A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will
cover your bald head and with your wooden leg, you will be just right
as a pirate.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his wooden
leg and so he writes a letter of complaint.
A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note, which says:
Dear Sir:
Please find enclosed a monk's costume. The long robe will cover your
wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his
wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head so again he writes the company
another nasty letter of complaint.
Then two days later he gets a
small parcel and a note which reads,
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a jar or treacle and a bag of crushed nuts.
Pour the treacle over your bald head, pat on the crushed nuts, stick
your wooden leg up your ars e and go as a toffee apple.
Very truly yours
Acme Costume Co.