Newborn baby blues :-(

[elleroo]

Just had my second baby boy who is perfect, healthy and happy and gorgeous. But im so tired, i forgot how tiring and stressful it was having a baby in the house, and with a very active 3 year old as well its even harder!
Im fed up of feeling down, and crying when my partner leaves the house, it makes me feel stupid but i cant seem to cheer myself up.
Any advice on how to get a grip of myself? lol

[jb190281]

Hi elleroo. I haven't really got answers, but I just wanted to sympathise. My baby is 4 weeks old, and my first so its all new to me, and i must admit it catches me at times. Only a couple of hours ago, I flipped at OH cos he kept going on about how tired he was, hmmmmmm. How old is your little one?

[elleroo]

Mine is three weeks on sunday, annoying thing is, with my first he was 7 weeks early, really poorly and in special care for a few weeks... and i seemed to cope a lot better than i am now and my little one is absolutely perfect. Feel so frustrated with myself for feeling like it!!

[ummmm]

Sorry to say....it will (usually) pass. Boring answer but true xx

[Eve]

Have you spoken to your partner about how you feel?

Can you have a chat with your health visitor or practice nurse? Do they run a special mum and baby clinic at your local GP practice?

How about finding out if there are any other mum and baby groups about locally? Meet other mums and get some support and company?

[ummmm]

Jenna...a 3 week old and a 3 year old...leaving the house is a bit much..

[sherrardk]

Hi elleroo - it's difficult when you go from one to two (or even one from zero). When I had my second I used to cry about the fact that my first probably thought I didn't love him. My only tips are to forget about the house, just do the minimum - it'll still be there tomorrow - and to try and get out of the house for a bit each day (always made me feel better). Don't forget that your hormones are going mental too so try not to be too hard on yourself. (I've got five children now so it can't be that bad.)

[jb190281]

Have you spoken to midwife or health visitor? I had some specific concerns early on, but once I'd voiced them and talked about them, I felt it was a huge relief. Is it 'just' the tiredness or something else? (I say just, I'm not dismissing how tiring it is, far from it!)
Do you get help from family and friends? If ever there was a time to ask for help, this would be it and I'm sure people would be very willing.

[Eve]

See your point, sorry elleroo, I don't have any children.

[albaqwerty]

Firstly, congratulations to you and Mr Ell x

There's 16 months between my two (alothough they are now teenagers) I'll never forget the first time I was left alone in the house with them.Scary!!

You will get through it, just relax and enjoy them. Stufff the housework and so on, providing the babes are clean, loved and fed, everything else can go to pot. :D

Do you have anyone who can take the 3 year old for a few hoours so you can get some sleep when the 3 week old nods off?

[ummmm]

It's not wrong advice Jenna...

[crisgal]

Don't try and fight it - it's natural and will pass. Just sleep when they sleep, forget the house and stuff. Hubby needs to do the bulk of it - even if he's working. He won't be feeling like you,l just the ordinary kind of tired.
Just try and accept that it's just hormonal and exhaustion and won't last too long.
Everyone goes on and on about how having babies is wonderful etc, but they don't tell the truth that sometimes, it just sucks!

[askyourgran]

I can only say what jenna suggests, speak to the health visitor or your GP about this.
You aren't stupid, you are a good mother who has two young children and doing your best for them. You must try to put your feet up and rest in an afternoon for an hour (with your childen). Is there anyone in your family who can give you a break sometimes? It's hard work I thought I would never sleep again!

[sherrardk]

When I had the youngest two one the hospital said I could go home I burst into tears as I genuinely didn't think I could cope (felt terrible about it as I was missing my other children). It will pass, don't be so hard on yourself. x

[crisgal]

oh yeah, a top tip someone gave me:
even if you can't be @rsed, pack your babies bag before you go to bed.
That way, if you need to just get out of the house for fresh air, or visit fiends, you are set to go at any time. I did this with my 2nd and 3rd and it really did help. Sometimes, with the 1st i wanted to out but couldn't be bothered to get the whole kit and kaboodle together! x

[jb190281]

My OH works shifts. I'm practically working out what time he walks out the office, how long it takes to drive home, and I'm stood by the front door, baba in arms, and I'm doing my own thing for an hour or two - whether it's sleep, shower, eating, but it's a big help to get own space to relax a bit

[albaqwerty]

I reckon you and I had the same midwide cris!!

It made all the difference when you HAD to go out as opposed to wanting to :)

[crisgal]

lol - i know. At the time, i thought, stupid cow. But it really did help. I always made sure I had clean clothes too, and washed my hair the night before.

[ummmm]

I HAD to go out as well....My daughter started school 4 weeks after my son was born...It was about 1.5 miles away..

Sometimes I think when you HAVE to do something it makes it easier...the baby cries...tough, he'll have to wait as you HAVE to brush your other childs hair...etc etc.

[albaqwerty]

ummm, your daughter and son were both blooming inconsiderate :)

I asked my midwife "what do I do if they both cry at the same time?" stupid mare that i was, she said you'll know which one needs you more. Surpisingly, she was right :D

[elleroo]

Thank you all you wonderful people, it helps knowing others have survived lol. i know it wont last forever thankfully.... but right now it feels like it will!
Im not sitting crying all the time or anything, seems like its evenings i start getting a bit anxious which i know is silly.
Hopefully i can start getting more sleep and be able to chill out and enjoy it a bit more! :-) xx