HELP! My 9 month old daughter still wont settle without me

[charlie82]

Hi there

I'm posting this on behalf of a friend...

Hi. Please can anyone help. My daughter is now nine months old and still wakes up 4 times a night for a feed. I still breast feed, but give her one hungry baby milk at 10pm. Sje doesnt really accept the bottle. She will not settle at night, not even with my husband. She screams hesterically, starts hyperventilating till I pick her up. I have no idea what to do or how to change this cycle.

I have been out twice since I had her and both times we've had to come home. We have a big Doo to go to in July and am really worried about leaving her - please help.

Thank you. x

[johnk]

She sounds a bit spoilt and may not be getting enough nutrient from the breast milk. You need to find out about feeding and be FIRM about any changes.

[carolegif]

She's got into the habit of waking up and expecting a feed. Try giving her more to eat at tea-time and then a feed as late as possible at night and see if she will go through. You may just have to let her yell a little longer. It is distressing I know, but you need your sleep too!

[someonesgirl]

when she feeds in the night doe she really take a full feed or is it the closeness that shes after? i cracked night time waking by leaving them longer and longer before i went in and just kept reassuring them and putting them back in. eventually, they would only cry for 5 mins and go back to sleep without me going in. If shes getting enough calories during the day then its likely she isnt hungry in night at all, shes just wanting the closeness. if she knows you are always going to go in and feed her then she'll keep waking. you have to be tough. i totally sympathise with you as ive been through it, good luck.

[someonesgirl]

also, i do remember giving one of mine ready brek before bed and that filled them up for a bit longer!

[pretty_snowdrop]

Like the others say firstly make sure she is getting enough milk/food before bed time. Don't be in a rush to give her a bottle if she doesn't want it. As someonesgirl said, leaving her for 5 mins one day then gradually increasing it will do the trick.
The little girl might not be very tired. obviously she will need to sleep in the day, but if she has too much she won't sleep night.

[coli05anna00]

i really feel for you, i had a bad sleeper. i was always consistant with her bedtime routine, bath, bottle bed and would warm her a bottle shortly before i myself went to bed even if she was asleep she would take it, persistance really does pay off. keep bedtime quiet and calm so baby soon realises it is sleep time not play time.

[coli05anna00]

also you must allow your husband to do the bed time routine regularly we woman often think we are the only ones who can do the job

[coli05anna00]

sorry that went before i had finished, its awfull to hear your chils screaming but you have to resist that maturnal urge to intervene because you make a rod for your own back, Xx

[pretty_snowdrop]

Coli is correct. I was too soft with my eldest and i still have problems now ( she is 6). I was tougher on my youngest and it worked x

[coli05anna00]

also just to say the late feed before you go to bed shoud only be until weaning on solids is well and truely established.

[Nini74]

try just giving her water if she wakes in the night - this seemed to work on my little lad, but that was when he was only waking once in the night by then. if he wakes in the night now i give him water and his dummy and he soon nods back off. he's nearly 9 months now so i feel really sorry for you that yours is still getting up so often! is she weaning or just having milk still? do you think it may be that shes genuinely hungry? my lo is on 3 meals a day now, with follow on milk on top. also is she teething? could be pain waking her?? i'd maybe speak to GP or midwife to see if they can offer any advice.