stay at home fathers

[gingerflaps]

me and my partner have been discussing havin a baby and we have dicided that he will be the house husband while i go out to work which im fine with. do you think this is a good idea or a bad 1. p.s. i will take as much maternity time off as i can from the birth onwards.

[spudqueen]

I think stay at home parents are great. I'm a stay at home Mum because I couldn't stand the thought of my children spending all day with someone else. If it works better for your family that Dad is the stay at home parent then I don't see any problem with that. There used to be one dad who came to Mother & Toddlers, he was accepted along with everyone else (Mothers, Grandmothers and childminders).

[crisgal]

i think whatever is right for you and your family. My husband and I had the same conversation before the birth of our first child I was adamant that i would go back to work- it all changed once he arrived, i decided i couldn't miss out on a MINUTE of his life. Why not have a contingency plan ready in case you change your mind? Or don't decide yet, see how you feel!

[silly moo]

As long as you're both happy with the arrangement why not?
I have friends who have done this successfully.

[secretspirit]

I don't see why not, to a baby there is no difference between the care of the mother or father, it's only conditioning that teaches them to go to their mother for everything. If you're both happy then I think it's brilliant. I'd trust my husband 100% to stay at home with our baby when she arrives but as he earns more than me he's got the short straw and is the one going back to work (after a month off with me and baby).

[Hgrove]

There are quite a few full time dads where I live and it seems to work well for the families.

[kick3m0n]

Having either parent stay at home has got to be great for your little one.  On a practical level, if you intend to breast feed, it maybe difficult to express enough milk for your partner to feed baby with during a whole day, but you could always use formula for some feeds (or wean from breast to bottle by your retuirn date). Originally I was going to return to work (for financial reasons only) when my wee guy was 6mnths old.  I am so glad that we were able to cope without my wage and going back to work wasn't essential.  I knew from day 1 that I didn't want to leave my gorgeous little bundle for any longer than I had to.  I'd have missed so much in his busy and ever changing life!   Don't underestimate how difficult you might find it to be apart from your baby.  I know one mum who went back part time, then increased her hours for the next few months until she was full time again, and she said that transition helped her enormously, tho of course not all employers would offer that option, and it may be difficult financially for some families.  Good luck.

[ann_h]

It's good that you're asking for people's opinions - here's mine:

Ginger, are you really ready for this? I know you're feeling broody for a couple of reasons, but you're quite young, and from some of your posts I have to say you seem a bit naive.

That's not to say you won't be a great Mum, but I bet most people will say the reality of having a family was a bit different, and things don't always go according to plan.

.I had grand ideas to finish my degree, work etc... then had twins. There was no way on earth I could finish my course, afford childcare for 2 etc (although things are better now with tax credits).  5 years later, had my son who is autistic with adhd . All hope of gainful employment ends.

There was lots of other cr*p with husband etc I won't go into now  - the point is,  while I love my kids to bits, I have been unable to give them holidays and treats, nor even my best attention due to the stress over the years.

xxx