Changing school for last year of primary.

[annie0000]

We are considering changing my younger sons school for the last year of primary school. The reason being that we are hoping to get him into the same High School as his older brother and no-one from his current school will be going there as far as we are able to find out. The primary school we propose to move him to is in the catchment for that High school so in theory it would give him a chance to make some friends before he moves up.

He is fully involved in the decision making process and his views are very much being taken into account. He does not have any problems in his current class other than he is drifting away from his friends as he has different interests to them and mainly hangs about with his brother and his friends. They will be in High school after the summer so I am concerned that he will be a bit lonely. Most of the boys in his class are into football and he isn't, the few who aren't into football usually hang about with the girls and he is not into doing that either. He likes computers and is a bit of a geek to be honest :o).

Just really looking for some pros and cons that we may not have thought of or peoples personal experiences of doing something similar.

Thanks

[daffy654]

My son had no friends in his primary school as none of them were as geeky as he is. lol

Once he moved up to high school he made new friends from other primaries (miracle for a kid with Aspergers!) who are into the same things as he is.

[annie0000]

Hi daffy - yes, I am sure that will be the case when he gets there, I am really divided about whether it would make the transition easier if he was able to get some new friends who would definitely be moving too. The other primary school would have a higher geek quotiant than his present one!!

Well done to your boy btw :o)

No1 son does have some aspergers traits but we have been told that if tested he would be borderline so we haven't bothered. he was bullied a lot at primary and I feel that we probably should have removed him from the school years ago instead of trying to integrate him - we were flogging a dead horse. He and his equally geeky friend get ignored and excluded and so are moving to a different high school together after the summer. we hope to get no 2 son in there too. It's a really good school and is much more academic and suited to them than our catchment school which is excellent for it's sporting achievements. No2 doesn't get bullied but is becoming more isolated and I know he will miss the boys next year. I really don't know what to do for the best. He incidentally wants to move but I am scared that he goes and doesn't like it and it therefore puts him off high school. My OH says that maybe better that he goes to high school without anyone as there are loads of kids looking for new friends then whereas he will have to break into a group maybe at primary.

[sherrardk]

Hi Annie, just some thoughts. Have you contacted the proposed High School to sound out the chances of your son getting in (would be pointless to move him if he didn't stand a chance). Could he still go to the proposed High School without moving him from primary (presumably there will be children at the new High School from different schools so maybe he could go there directly from his current primary school). Hope you can get it all sorted out. (No one really prepares you for how much you will worry about them, do they?) x

[annie0000]

Hi sher, you are right, they sure don't prepare you!

We have a reasonable chance of getting him in, the chance is the same regardless of which primary he goes to. Although we put a big speil on No1 sons application in support of getting a place, actually all children who applied to go got a place - it has the reputation of being really difficult to get into so i guess that not too many applied!! We would get an additional point due to fact that we already have a child in the school so theoretically we are more likely to get a space but they can never guarantee it. We are keeping our mouths shut about how easily we got a space this year :o). The school had only 16 spaces free after allocating spaces to the catchment area kids and that's in the millennium baby year so maybe more spaces available next year

[sherrardk]

Hi Annie, personally I wouldn't change the primary school if it doesn't make a difference to getting a place at High School. I think it is too many changes in too short a time. Saying that, you have to go with your gut instinct in this, good luck, x

[annie0000]

Thanks Sher, you are probably right, it's just the thought of him hanging about in the playground by himself for a year and then going up to high school all by himself that is making me worry. I thought that going into a class of 30 kids where they allocate him a buddy might be easier and then he'd have people to go up to high school with. But on the other hand he might just end up hanging about a strange school by himself for a year and losing all confidence. He is a bit less quiet and a bit more bolshy than his brother but is actually less confident I think. He is a lot less comfortable in his own skin that No1 son. He worries more about not having friends. On a positive note, No1 went up for his first transition day and absolutely loved it and has already made new friends. I think he loved the fact that he could be himself and no-one was judging him or had preconceived opinions on him. Considering how quiet he is he came back chirpy as anything. I think he had a total carry on with another boy when they were supposed to be writing about the titanic but I think he benefited more from that than actually doing the work!!

[sherrardk]

Good news about No 1, hope you come to a comfortable decision about No 2 - it's just so difficult sometimes but your kids will be fine because they have got you and Mr Annie looking our for them,x

[annie0000]

thanks Sher - between us we'll hopefully unleash 7 wonderful citizens upon the world :o)

[cathfromsaron]

by all means move him, if he is agreeable and the school is better! you can always keep in touch with old friends! we don't attend school in our residential area, because my grandson goes to an english medium school!

BUT wouldn't it be your home address - rather than this - that determines his acceptance at the high school?

[annie0000]

Thanks cath, yes, whether he gets a place at the high school or not will be the same regardless of which primary school he attends as it is based on our home address. The difference as far as we are concerned is that he will probably be the only one from his current school to go to that high school, but if we move him to the other primary then the majority of that class will go to the high school as they live in the catchment area. The theory is that as he doesn't appear to have any really strong friendships at the moment at his current school (none that cant be maintained outside school anyway) that it may be better for him to have the chance to make some that are likely to transfer to high school so that he doesn't feel on his own. I guess what we are trying to decide is whether it would be easier to do this now in P7 or when he goes to high school.

[cazzz1975]

I moved house just before my daughter hit year 6, I was agonising about her finding it difficult, but I neednt have worried, she made a better than expected transition to a much better school and made friends she would see in secondary.

be supportive and let the school know your anxieties, they will help him settle easier.

[annie0000]

thanks cazzz - it's good to hear from someone who has personal experience of it. Was your daughter fairly outgoing/confident?

[cazzz1975]

my daughter at the time was very shy and timid, which was why I was concerned, I worried she would struggle to fit in especially as there are many little cliques in primary schools amongst girls. I did speak with the new school regarding this and they put her with a girl who was similar to show her around, although she had a few minor ups and downs in her school year the move was very positive in instilling confidence, maybe it was just a much better school than her previous one. the move was positive and once she made a few new friends she never looked back.

[annie0000]

Just a quick update to say my son has decided to stay where he is. His choice entirely and we have no problem with that. He has said he is making more of an effort to join in stuff in the playground and even played football the other day. He still doesn't like it but apparently managed to save 7 goals - he thinks he has a natural talent lol. He is getting a very good P7 teacher whereas we have no idea who he would get in a new school. As long as he is happy then all is good :o) Thanks once again for all you help and info.

cazz I am pleased that it all worked out for your daughter.