Foster Childs Long Term Future

[loulou111]

I have a little girl of ten i am short term fostering (around 4 months). I have had her for a few weeks. The mothers partner has caused some trauma to the little girl. and mum now has supervised contact once a week in a contact centre, as she refuses to leave abusive partner. Her biological dad will be her long term carer but they are sorting out residency order next week. It will be a slow change over as she has become attached to me. However long term i cannot have her as i dont have the room. I am a family friend and just stepped into help. I want to try and make the transition for her to live with dad as smooth as possible. He will be having her weekends, until she goes to live for good at her dads. Her dad is a good role model but works long hours. His partner also works full time. Im trying to be upbeat and positive but she keeps crying saying she wants to stay with me. Any ideas on how to deal with this . Thanks everyone.

[bednobs]

deal with it for you or for her?

[Sparkles62]

If you can accomodate her for 4 months, would you be able to have her for the odd weekend as an 'Auntie' once she has settled in with Dad,
This would mean that you don't lose contact, but dont have the commitment that you have now.
Dad would probably enjoy a 'weekend off' once a month aswell. X

[DaisyNonna]

A difficult situation for all concerned. 10 is a fragile age.
Sparkles has made a good suggestion if it is workable for you.
Hope the future is happy.

[loulou111]

Some great ideas. Bednobs yes it will be hard for me as i have grown very fond of her. Sparkles62 Her dad has suggested she stay over at my house for the odd overnight visit which i am happy with. The little girl is saying if she goes to her dads she will run away. The change of surroundings and routine scares her i think. DaisyNonna thanks for the good wishes.

[anneasquith]

lou, as a foster parent, im sure you have a social worker, have you discussed your concerns with them ?

[loulou111]

Type Your Answer Here...Yes the social worker is a help. The little girl is to have some therapy sorted soon. Her concern is for her to go with her dad and for the handover period to go as smooth as possible. She has just advised we take each day as it comes

[queeam]

i think that the child is more scared of the fact that she will be with a male, even tho he is her dad than anything else. give her time to adjust and bond with her dad, she will see that not all males are alike. also it is natural for anyone to be scared of the unknown, she will adjust but still be there to have her on weekends or whenever

[loulou111]

Hi thanks for the replys. Her dad has agreed that i may have her alternate Friday nights. Im pleased to be allowed to maintain contact. Little one is still adamant she will run away and is crying most nights its very upsetting but i know its for the best she lives with her dad.