Whats In An Age Gap?

[Stevesw]

Can a 22 year old girl really be in love with a 45 year old male?

[BlueToffee]

Sounds more like infatuation to me. Wish I could find a 22 year old though!

[sandyRoe]

When he's 90 she'll only be 44. The gap doesn't bode well for the future.

[woofgang]

why not?

[sherrardk]

Are you sure Sandy?

[sandyRoe]

Double his age, double hers...

[Mass_Hysteria]

Sandy she'll be 67 when he's 90!

[puddle-duck]

It does happen.

[EcclesCake]

Depends on the individuals.

I was in a relationship very similar, it failed but not because of the age gap.

[jim360]

Relationships like that do happen, although they have some unique difficulties. Still, with the right couple those can be overcome. So yes, it can work and they really can be in love.

[giveup]

My husband is 11 years younger than me,and we have been happily married for nearly 26 years. (although he still says he was only after my pension)

[Stevesw]

So blue toffee, a 22 year old doesn't understand the feeling of love only infatuation? I ask because I am the 45 year old. We thought it was a one night stand but we have become closer and closer. I have done the maths so many times in my head too so I know about it. I love her and she is crazy about me but I don't know whether to carry on or not but let her down gently.

[pixie373]

I know age is supposed to be just a number, but with it comes experience too. In theory, it shouldn't matter, but to me it seems wrong if you are with someone old enough to be your parent or child. I wonder what her relationship with her dad is like. I'd guess fairly non-existent. And does a normal 44-year old man really want to start again?

[giveup]

Why not enjoy what you have and let the future take care of itself. As someone once said "it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" Personally I don't regret a minute of the last 26 years.

[Stevesw]

I didn't fall in love with a 22yo I fell in love with her. I know as a woman you will base it all on sex but it so much more than that. She lost her dad at an early age to cancer and yes I have given that lots of thought. But what is wrong in wanting to care for someone and help them with your life experience? Shes been kicked in the teeth by so called family and friends but still comes up smiling. Shes the strongest most positive person ive ever come across and I sometimes hate the fact of the age gap because of what people will say. You cant help who you fall in love with.

[pixie373]

I cross-posted with you. Sorry, didn't realise it was that personal, but i believe what i said. Obviously, she wants a father -figure. Whether she'll want the same when she is ready to move on and have a family, etc, is anyone's guess. If it's just about sex, it probably is from both sides, that's not necessarily a problem. What does she have to say about it?

[~Wingnut~]

If you love each other whats the problem?
I met mr Wingnut when I was 18 and he was 34. We've been together 17 years and married 14 yrs. It hasn't been easy but thats only because his health took a massive dive before we had been married a year and he was in and out of hospital a lot for years. His health has stablised now and we still love each other very much. Infact more so now and have 2 lovely daughters to show for it too :)

I don't understand what you are questioning? If you are both crazy about each other sod what others think and enjoy each other.

[Stevesw]

As I said Pixie its not just about the sex why would it be if two people love each other? We have both discussed marriage and children and she would love both with me and has said "I cant imagine ever wanting those things with anyone else now", don't really know what im questioning wingnut, I guess I just don't get what she sees in me probably.

[March-Hare]

Yes of course she can!! Age gaps are not important - so what everyone else thinks is also unimportant ............ if you are crazy for each other, good luck to you. My biggest gap was 16 years ............ and it didn't fail because of the gap, but more because of other people's interference!! Ignore others, enjoy each other and flipping well get on with it. As long as you trust and respect each other and have plenty in common age is not a factor.

[pixie373]

Yes, i was agreeing with you, Steve. If you're both happy, carry on. It's nobody else's business. You sound as though you're open with each other. Are you asking because you have some doubts about it? Do YOU want children,marriage etc with her?

[March-Hare]

Steve!! Get a grip!! Take what she tells you as the truth!! Trust her ... without trust we are lost. She wants to be with you - cherish it & her!!!