Moving With Children Following Separation

[sheri1980]

Ive separated from my husband, and I would like to move to where my family are, which is 145 miles away from my childrens father.
I have no support here, my ex's family don't see our children, only birthdays etc or if I tae them there, which is only 8 min drive. He lives with his mum, who wont have the children over as they make a mess and she cant handle the change in routine. So to see his kids he has to come to my house.
Basically, his mum has told me if I try and take them away she will figt me all the way to stop me. Is this the case? Can they really stop me?
I will ensure a good amount of access for the children, at least every other wknd and half of the holidays. Nightly phone calls, and would never use the children in any way.
My husband has mental health problems, and emotionally abused me, and the children at times, though to a lesser extent, there is no documentation of this however, just my word I guess.
any help is appreciated. Thanks.

[Maydup]

She can fight all she likes but she can't stop you moving. Its all hot air with her, just do as you need to and go. Nothing to be gained by hanging around there for nothing but negativity.

[237SJ]

Grandparents don`t have any rights in law when it comes to grandchildren so there is nothing they can do.

[Buenchico]

Your other post (which I've attempted to answer in some detail) suggests that you might still be hoping for reconciliation with your partner but, for the purposes of this thread, I'll assume that you'll definitely be separating.

The law allows you to take your children anywhere you want within the UK. Your husband could however seek a court order to ensure that he continues to have contact with his children. (Even though you've made it clear that such an order wouldn't be necessary, he might still choose to go down that route for his own peace of mind).

You should note though that things could get awkward if you tried to take your children abroad (even for a day trip or holiday). If you've not sought and obtained a residence order for your children (which obviously means going to court) you would be committing a serious criminal offence if you took your children outside of the UK without your husband's permission. (With a residence order you could take them abroad for up to 28 days without his permission).

So, if you're certain that you're not going to get back together again, it might be best to formalise your separation - or seek a divorce - through the relevant court procedures. (Your local CAB can probably advise you).

[ToraToraTora]

just move, nothing they can do.

[sheri1980]

I was concerned about them applying to the courts to stop me from moving.

[woofgang]

Their father might try it, his mother has no right to.

[sheri1980]

no she will pay for it on his behalf. They do however have no real contact with her, she never visits them here, so no family connection where we live now, but of course with their father. Where as in Sussex I have a cousin who is like my sister, I have a sister, and also my step dad and his wife, who my kids call nanny and granddad, plus my step brothers and sisters, whom we used to see all the time when we lived there previously.
I want to move them back to somewhere that they have family and we have support, I know taking them away from their dad will be hard, but I would help with access as much as possible, I would never ever not allow him to see them!

[ToraToraTora]

they can't stop you moving, especially if you've already moved and I know of no way they could make you move back. Up sticks and move they'll never be able to force you back.

[boxtops]

I#d consult a solicitor if I were you, to make sure all the agreements about access to and contact with the children for your husband are clearly laid down. You also need to agree about financial matters for the children, to avoid any disputes in the future.

[sheri1980]

There is no financial details that need sorting as he lives with him mum and claims job seekers, I provide fully for our 3 children through my self employment and tax credits. No house to sell, no assets, literally nothing. He pays no maintainence for the children, and has no intention of getting a job anytime soon due to his anxiety and depression.
I am going to make an appointment with CAB asap, as I cant afford a solicitor, which is a worry as His mum can afford legal and court fees, where as all money I have goes on the house, bills, debts we have that im paying all off, and of course the children.

[atalanta]

I went through exactly this situation myself. All sorts of threats were made, court actions, prosecutions, withdrawal of maintenance and lots more, but I was assured by the lawyers ( etc) that it was all bluster and nothing of the sort could possibly happen. And it didn't.
The father can do nothing so long as you stay in the same country, and his mother doesn't have a leg to stand on. She cannot make herself a party to the separation or to a divorce. No court would give her the time of day.

[EDDIE51]

His mum can do absolutly nothing apart from make a fuss , no court can order you to stay as long as the kids are looked after, she does not even have grounds to go to court about it let alone get a ruling that you can't move.
Just move and don't even tell her until after you have moved and sorted yourself out. Your ex has the right to see them but it is up to him to get there at his own expense you just need to tell him where they are and when he can visit.
My daugher is in a similar situation , she has a cheap £9 mobile phone that she uses only for contact with the father so she does not need to give him/ his family her 'main' phone number. Her solicitor suggested the 'Dad phone' idea as he was always calling and making all sorts of demands it works well.