What Do I Do?
A hillbilly gets married and on his wedding night he decides to call his father to get some tips on what to do, since he had never been with a woman before.
So he calls up his dad and asks him, "What do I do first?"
His dad says, "Take her clothes off and put her in bed."
The hillbilly calls his dad 5 minutes later and says, "She's without clothes and in bed what do I do now?" His dad says, "Take your clothes off and get in bed."
He calls back 5 minutes later and says, "I'm without clothes and in bed with her what do I do now?"
His dad's patience is now running out so he says, "Look son do I have to spell everything out? Just put the hardest thing on your body where she pees!"
The hillbilly calls up 5 mins later and says, "OK Dad, I have my head in the toilet bowl what do I do now?"