Losing a twin to Doctor's Incompetence!

[mystress]

Did anyone see the News item concerning a young Mother,who lost one of twins during childbirth due to a Doctor's incompetence?

I am not here to dwell on the rights or wrongs,but more to say how much sympathy I have for the Mother left with the remaining twin.All her life (surely) she will see the "ghost" twin whenever she looks at the remaining one,just how will she cope,I don't think I could.

What advice/words of comfort would you give her?

[nfn]

she won't see the other twin. I lost one of my twins a week after their birth and have always talked to my son about his sister. He knows she died because she was very very ill and he just accepts it, often talking about her. It was incredibly hard for the first year but after that I found that I just had to cope, it's not fair to my son if he isn't put first

[thugulike]

I also lost a twin due to doctors negligence.  I concentrated on the one child I had and seldom think about it now.  To my horror though, my remaining son told me last year that he had never known he had been a twin. It was never a secret, don't know how that happened.  I'm not sure you need to say anything much, just be there for her to talk to you if she feels the need.

[simont]

My mother carried triplets and lost both of the twins to twin to twin transfusion.  Fortunately, my brother survived.   She says that the most hurtful things people said, without meaning to was "well at least you have the one that survived..."  THis made her really sad because of course she held him tighter than ever, but he didn't take away the pain.  SOmetimes words are always needed, sometimes you just need to be around and be willing to be along side a person quietly.  She will talk when she is ready.

My heart goes to her.