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Small children and dog hairs
My son and daughter-in-law and us,as his parents and Grandparents of 10 month old Francis disagree on dogs. Both the parents are disabled and are not especially clean and tidy, so the carpet and chairs are quite often covered in dog hair-they have 2 dogs. Francis has recently started to crawl and is obviously now more active and I get very concerned about the dog hair going in his mouth etc. My son has come out with some "comments-research?" that claims to say it does no harm and it makes children more immune to disease etc. I personally find this hard to believe, though I also realise we have very different ideas on liveable cleanliness and tidiness. I can't stand dogs and household pets also and find it hard to stomach how soppy they are over these "creatures". Any thoughts, knowledge on this welcome please?
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Hello Marion. I can remember your concern previously over this issue. Personally, I think you have to bite your tongue and remember that it is up to your son and his wife. I have five pets at present and my son has been brought up with various dogs, cats and birds. I do clean up regularly, but dog and cat hairs are impossible to keep on top of. Our dogs and cats do sit on our seating (which is protected with throws). As long as the dogs are treated for fleas and are wormed regularly, animal feading dishes are kept separately, and hands are washed regularly then the major problems of disease are dealt with.
Your son is right. There is now a lot of medical reasearch that supports that a great deal the viruses and allergies that children (and adults) are suffering these days would not be happening if the children were subjected to a little more normal 'dirt'. The use of bacterial cleaners has been criticised.
Regardless of how you feel about animals, and I respect your concerns, but I feel that you must let your son take control of his life and
My son is a happy, healthy grown up and has not suffered at all from being brought up in a house with animals. Research also supports the fact that children brought up with pets grow up into more responsible and well rounded adults who are generally more caring.
Best wishes and please enjoy your grandson.
Marion, with the greatest respect, you have some choices here. Assuming that the house isn't dirty enough to be a public health risk, you can bite your tongue and enjoy your grandson, or speak your mind and risk losing contact with him.....
Did you know that a human bite is dirtier than a dog bite??
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Hi In a Pickle - Good year eh 1947? I would add that I spent a lot of time with my grandparents playing in their back yard behind the greengrocers shop. My Nan was wonderful, hated housework and adored dogs and cats and children who roamed around both inside and out (and in those days I doubt whether the animals were as clean as they are today). It was the best time of my life - always grubby but a good wash down at the kitchen sink every night before bed. (And remember the ice on the inside of the windows!)
FP just brought back some happy memories. We always had a dog. He was bathed occasionaly. I never had a day off school for illness from the time I started till the time I left. We had no central heating. beds freezing apart from hot water bottle.Outside loo. Tin bath in kitchen infront of fire (ok till your bottom accidently hit the side. Food was all home cooked. Not like today. Plenty of fresh air as we had no tv in our bedrooms or computers and the like. Sorry I've gone off the original question a bit but happy memories. Perhaps I am at that age when we say about the good old days.
I felt a bit guilty last night, Marion, as I went off track from your thread on my previous posting. However, what I was trying to point out was that, with a lot of media brainwashing, we have all become a lot more 'hygiene aware' and this is now having a lot of negative results as well, of course, as some good results
As long as your little family are well and happy and enjoying life then you should be really happy too. I am sure they would have been visited by health visitors when Francis was much younger, and they must have been satisfied. I hope you can overcome this - we are all different, but you shouldn't let your dislike of pets come in the way of your relationships with your family.
Thank you all for your replies and FP, that article was useful and I will refer back to it! Point taken that maybe it's more my dislike of "pets, especially dogs", that clouds my usually good judgement! My partner feels the same and is very vocal and black and white,plus my Mum and sister,who I was very close to growing up, feel the same. My sister has been asthmatic since birth and is allergic to a few things, including animal hair. So all of this hasn't helped. You are right in that, my Grandson seems very robust and healthy and that's the most important thing!
It must be a bit difficult for you if you feel, however unconsciously, that your son is growing away from his "family values", especially as those values are so important to you. Plus of course if your sister is allergic to animal hair, then it would have been important to protect her from exposure to it, especially when she was a baby. Must have been very worrying for your mum to have an asthmatic new born too.
There's lots of research to indicate that children who grow up in a house with pets are better off than those who don't - both emotionally and physically. They also learn the facts of life (and death) better if they have pets.
If your grandson is healthy and thriving and happy then try and let sleeping dogs lie - just enjoy being with him when you can. You could always take him to the park to feed ducks or to play on the swings if you really can't stand sharing a sofa with the dogs.
Is there any way that your son and daughter in law could get some practical help with the house cleaning? Perhaps you could offer to help them look into the possibility of getting a cleaner in once a week to help out. Maybe a local student or teenager could help out for a bit of pocket money? It would be safer than doing a paper round in the dark winter mornings.
I suppose we all have our own standards when it comes to house cleaning. I am far less bothered these days as I realised that all the friends I like visiting are the ones with the untidy houses. However, I am quite a tidy person and my adult son who is at home at the moment is content to live in a shambles. I do understand how you feel, Marion, but we can't expect our children to always agree with our values, and I am learning to grit my teeth and wear blinkers!!!
Keep us in touch as your grandson progresses. I am sure he must be lovely.
Very best wishes.
What an interesting thread!
I can entirely understand your concerns Marion, ir must be frustrating to feel you have something by way of advice or guidance to offer, but to know it is against the wishes of your son and his partner.
However, having pets around children has a variety of benefits - children learn respect, responsibility, and the cycle of life, and develop friendships which can become a huge part of their childhood. The issues raised about the problems of excessive hygiene in modern homes are very valid too.
My early childhood memories are all related to dogs (who took on the role of nanny in our house!), and I have grown up with a great fondness for them. I am a robust and healthy individual, and my job requires diplomacy and responsibility on a daily basis. I truly believe my upbringing with animals has contributed greatly in my developing the skills I need today.
Try your best to respect the wishes of your son - it sounds like he and his partner have considered this issue and made their decision on it. All the best with your wonderful grandchild.
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