Adoption!!! Good Outcome Stories

[ilovemarkb]

Struggling to find words of comfort someone who is going to loose 3 young grandchildren because of neglect from their parents. Have you been adopted and had a wonderful life?

[grasscarp]

I can't help as am not adopted but I did read story today online about a girl who was born to a young unmarried girl 71 years ago and immediately given up fo adoption. She said her adopted parents gave her a lovely life.
However is it not possible for the grandparents to keep in contact in this case?

[ilovemarkb]

thanks no contact allowed!!

[grasscarp]

There is a website that offers support for cases where grandparents have no contact
http://www.grandparents-association.org.uk/

[Sycamore3House]

I know of a child who is now nearly 16 years old that has been in her Grandmothers care since birth due to her mother (the grandmothers daughter) being a drug addict. Not sure if she has adopted her but now the Mother is free of drugs for now a number of years the child still lives with the Grandmother & will remain there. The child has grown into a lovely young lady.

[lcg]

you cant find words of comfort - nothing you say will make them feel better......you just need to let your friends (or whoever they may be) know you love them and are there for them. it's like me watching people tell my patients with mental health problems (severe and life-long) that everything will be ok. it wont be and never will be.....but you can offer encouragement that over time they will be able to think about it with less pain/distress and learn to cope with what is happening. that is maddening (especially as i have long term mental health problems and know that it will never be ok in my eyes) and causes alienation as you feel people do not understand and it is not useful. i would also suggest they contact their gp for help if they are struggling with mood/anxiety or distress; and an organisation that is appropriate for their circumstances that can support them professionally (have a hunt on the internet). tread carefully as you dont want them to think that you are invalidating what they say, as it will be interpreted as you dont understand....even if you are well meaning. it makes you feel like what you feel does not matter or is wrong, even with the best of intentions.

[wired]

I have a close connection to a family of four adopted children, all grown up now with families of their own, one of them didn't do so well as the others but on the whole they're all well adjusted and their children are very happy youngsters.
Hope that helps a little.