Parents...what Would You Do If Your Child...

[Dreamsandlove]

A - threw marbles in someone's face who was playing with them. Would you tell them off? Or say nothing at all to your child?

B - was sitting at the dinner table and was crying for food on the guests plate? Would you remove the food from the guests plate and let your child eat it to stop them being upset?

Not sure what's normal as I'm not a parent.

[ummmm]

Dunnitall - yours knew better because they were taught better.

[dunnitall]

Yes ummmm exactly my point. Why have we gone off course as much as we have....answers on a postcard to....

[Hypognosis]

I'm not a parent, so also fascinated.

Where do we get our sense of disgust about food that has been on someone else's plate?

The fork/spoon goes into their mouth and back down to the plate so the remaining food may have saliva traces on it.

If the guest was an adult, they'd be terribly offended by my expressing a desire that my child is not put in contact with their 'germs' (the child won't understand the fuss, until repetition leads to questioning). Even at school I offended someone by wiping the top of a pop bottle which had visited five mouths, before taking my turn. I genuinely didn't think what message that puts out.

If the house guest was another child, of similar age then they'd also not understand warnings about hygeine and likely not care about my kid pilfering from their plate.

But… I cannot administer corrective instruction until after the offence has played out.

For the marbles, I might try reminding my kid of the last time they hurt a knee or an elbow (bones close to the skin) and ask them to say how tgat felt, then explain how that is how marbles on the forehead feel to their playpal.

Again, I do not know at what age children develop empathy.

[pastafreak]

I don't believe it's about hygiene. It's about not giving into the child's (possible) tantrum and demanding to have someone else's things...whether toys,clothing or food.

[Dreamsandlove]

Really silly to say but I was extremely hungry. We was all eating the same thing but she wanted my vegetables as well as hers so my veg was taken off my plate and she had all hers and mines. It wouldn't have bothered me if I wasn't so hungry but at the same time I did wonder if this kind of thing was normal. It's more being a guest in a strange house too and I was more worried about what repercussions this would have on the child to grow up thinking she could have everything she wanted even if it didn't belong to her. A lot of my UK friends have children and they don't ever do this. This child is never disciplined or told no. If she throws a temper or screams she will get it anyways. So this child never learns no. I'm not an expert however as I am not a parent but I was never brought up this way and find this may not be best to teach your child. Children learn fundamental things from a young age and I wasn't sure if this is maybe just a terrible 3's typical behaviour. As I say I'm a bit ignorant to all this as I'm not a parent.

[trt]

The naughty step for ten minutes, then bed/cot!

[Dreamsandlove]

I did suggest the naughty step one day the child smacked the mum because she was watching the news and not cartoons. The mum advises she doesn't believe in the naughty step as it can damage the child. 2 mins later she put the cartoons on.

[trt]

## The mum advises she doesn't believe in the naughty step as it can damage the child. 2 mins later she put the cartoons on. ##

The child already sounds damaged to me Dreams!!!!

[Mamyalynne]

I agree the child isn't being helped here but we interfere in the way our friends raise their children at our peril.

Stay out of it unless asked for advice.


One tip , don't use bed/cot as a punishment or it can backfire on you at bedtimes.