Independent Daughter?

[boona]

Do you think my 8yr old is mean if she doesn't want her school friends to join her new dancing school or is she just showing independence? She has a few best friends at school and they used to all go to the same dancing school but I moved my daughter this year to a new dance school (a better one) She didn't know anyone at first but has since made some new friends and really enjoys it. Her school friends are thinking now of joining but DD doesn't want them too. She said it is because they won't be able to watch her in the annual dance show as they will be in it too! She is 8yrs

[jno]

she's probably just telling the truth; eight is usually too young for people to think up really elaborate lies. Does it matter? Other kids will go there if they and their parents want it; what you daughter thinks doesn't matter either way. If they do, she'll mostly likely learn to lilve with it quite quickly.

[boona]

I have told her that her friends can go to whatever school they want.. but they are choosing this school because their parents want them to be in the same dance class as DD

[woofgang]

might be worth gently pointing out that its not something that she can control and whatever happens, in class she need to be polite about it.

[boona]

I agree Woofgang.. kids eh! She has told her friends at school to stop copying her

[Cloverjo]

My son used to like to go to out of school things where his schoolfriends didn't go, at about that age. There was one particular boy ("a frenemy" really) that he particularly wanted to spend time away from so he'd get quite upset once the other kids found out about his new place and joined.

[CrapAtCryptics]

Maybe she just thinks if she is at the better school she will be the top dancer.

[jno]

imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. All the same, I can see why she might feel they're stealing her personality. There's nothing to be done about it, but you could just advise her to be patient - the others will develop their own individuality sooner or later.

[Neveracrossword]

If one of your daughter's friends had gone first to the new school and said how good it was, chances are your daughter would be the one now thinking of joining. I don't think there's anything particularly 'independent' in wanting to keep others away.

[boona]

I think she likes doing something away from her school friends, she was looking forward to them watching the show and not being "in" the show with her for a change

[Tilly2]

She has no control over what any of her friends do. She needs to accept that people will do what they feel is best for them and go along with it. Just let her enjoy her new dance school and accept whatever her friends choose to do.

[spathiphyllum]

She may have always dreamed about her friends watching her show, finding out they’ll be in it may spread her light

[RainbowRafiki]

Maybe she thinks her friends are talented and wants them to see that in her, too. Maybe I should take lessons from her. I'm a complete klutz.

[boona]

Well her two school friends have now joined the dance school. My daughter says she feels suffocated and she wanted to do something on her own.

[Neveracrossword]

Boona, it's a shame your daughter feels 'suffocated' but she can't really expect everything in life to accommodate her, and only her? An 8-year-old, no matter how 'independent' can't stop others joining a dance class.

[Mamyalynne]

She's having to learn that she can't have everything her own way, something we all go through whilst growing up.

[boona]

Their mums have specifically asked to join her class when there are loads of other classes and times, they have said they want to dance with my daughter so basically whatever class or school she was in they would have followed. I feel bad that my daughter doesnt feel the same way and wants some space from them.