ChatterBank12 mins ago
my 8 year old daughter suddenly dislikes school
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No best answer has yet been selected by sarahjm. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.I think she might be being bullied. It's hard for a child to admit that's the problem because sometimes it can be so humiliating to tell someone that a person is making you feel bad and you can't stop them. I doubt very much that she'll tell you off her own back, no matter how close you are. I was bullied horribly as a child and I don't think I ever told anyone, my mum was really surprised when I told her last week and that was over 10 years later.
Maybe a word with her teacher would help? She might have noticed some children who might be picking on her. Or you could find a book that deals with bullying in a story and leave it in her room. Try not to push too hard because it's obviously not working. Don't give in to letting her moves schools, I doubt it would help much and it's a huge step for a child to make.
When my son was about this age, a different boy came into his group of 3 friends and basically turned the other 2 against him. The new trio would spy on him at playtime as he sat on his own with no-one to play with. Its really difficult to tackle when its not a case of out and out bullying, more psychological/emotional hurt being inflicted. Particularly when its former friends causing the problem because you may be friendly with their mums etc. and your child doesnt want to make things worse.
If this is the case, is there another child whom your daughter likes and who you could help her become closer to i.e. by asking for tea etc.
Another thing to check is her eyesight. It sounds silly but my eyesight started to deteriorate when I was at primary school and I couldnt see the blackboard. I didnt tell anyone for ages and in truth it was so gradual I suppose I didnt realise what was happening. So I used to worry about it when I couldnt see what was written and my work suffered until the problem was noticed.
Is this very strict teacher actually a bit frightening - are other children feeling the same way? She may be a bit scared to say if its the teacher and think she might get into trouble. You could ask other mums if they've heard anything through the grapevine.
I hope you can get to the bottom of this because its such a worry for you both. Best of luck and persevere in your efforts to find out whats wrong.
Thank you for your responses but I know it is definitely not bullying, I have spoken with the teacher and I have even spyed on my daughter at break/lunch times she plays happily and the teacher has kept an eye on her also. I think it is the fact that it is a lot harder work and a much stricter teacher etc, well that is all I can put it down to, when she is upset at night I will go into her bedroom and her bed is covered in everything from her shelves games books etc, I ask her what is it all doing on her bed and she tells me that it reminds her of people she loves, it is really heart tugging, I was even thinking of the doctors or something alike.
Could she be afraid of not being good enough? I mean school and homework wise, new and harder demands and all that. My point is, if she was one of the best in her class before, or at least the work was easier, and now it has become harder, she may be afraid of failure.
You could try calling a child psycologist, maybe s/he can give you some advice - maybe the school has one on call?
I hasten to add I don't have any children, I'm just trying to remember what it was like being her age.
I really hope it will be better soon!
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