What time is acceptable for an 8 year old satying out?

[The Ponderer]

We have recently moved house, and before we would let her out while still daylight and bring her in when dark. However our daughter has made new friends one of whom is a year older and stays out to around 9pm.This isn't too bad however we always worry because it is dark and we don't know the area too well or the people round about. I know there comes a time when we must let her go and enjoy a bit of freedom but during the winter months I don't like the thought of her out and about while dark. Also a lot of the kids they hang around with are 11-12 year olds and in this day and age I don't like to think of what some of the conversations could be about, particularly as our daughter is still very naive.(She still believes in Santa and the Tooth fairy). But try telling this to our daughter who thinks we are embarassing her by calling her in while her friends stay out. Help appreciated by anyone who has experienced similar.

[cliffsdoll]

of course she believes in santa and the tooth fairy, she's a little girl, i personally would'nt let her out in the dark at all, in fact i would always make sure she played ourt with at least another child, never on her own, as for going anywhere further than her own street, its ok to go to friends house as long as you know the parents a bit, from school ect. but should make sure a suitable adult will bring her home afterwards. i woud'nt worry about her being friends with an 11 /12 year old as long as you supervise them a bit, give them some tea, perhaps let them go to the shops for sweets, then maybe give them a video to watch or play on the computer, she really is too youing to hang around the streets day or night. also ideas for intersts where she could meet kids with similair interests,

brownies

swimming clubs

horse riding

judo/karate

perhaps you could set up some sort of homework group for them,

my daughter is 14 and certainly not covered in cotton wool, but unless she has a specific place to go, she stays at home, she has afull and varied life, goesshopping with friends, horse riding, shes doingbthe duke of edinburough award and lots of stuff, she is not allowed to hang round street and i insist she back before dark unless a responsible adult is giving her a lift home. hope you dont think im an old nag, i'm not, my kids think im quite a fun mum, but i take their safty seriously. good luck, i'm sure she'll turn out just fine

[maggie01]

I think cliffsdoll has probably covered it all. I wouldn't let an 8 yr old out after dark unless she has somewhere specific that she had to be. If some of her friends stay out untill 9 pm, what time do they get to bed?. Invite a couple of friends for tea but If it were my daughter, I think I would like to see her in bed by 8pm on a school day.

[Drusilla]

I live by the old mantra;
You have to know
When to pick them up,
When to put them down,
And when to let them go!

Sadly, it's different for all children!
I have daughters' of 6 and 9 and believe your gut instinct to bring her in when it's dark is a good one.
A three year age difference seems very small as an adult, but there's a lot of growing physically and emotionally between 8 and 11, and while you're daughter's 9 year old friend seems ok, the older children may not be.
I know every one of my children's friends' and will not release that grip until they attend secondary school and don't care if they dislike it and fume. I'm their mother, not their best friend and it's safety first as far as I'm concerned.
I've just re-read this and don't I sound a harsh cow?
Good luck and best wishes.

[funnywebsite]

8 year olds should be in the house by 6pm at the latest. They are too young to be roaming round the streets. I don't believe it is right to let any kid out in the dark. Last night I went to the shop and there were a gang of youths hanging around the shop doorway making you feel intimidated having to push past them to get into the shop. They are out of order and I believe they are from bad homes and their parents don't care for them. You are making yourself look bad. Keep an eye on your kid please for her safety sake and to not get into the wrong company.

[sudu]

I'm 15 and when i was that age i was definately not allowed out when it was dark, usually i had to come home around 5/6ish. even now my parents are not too keen on me going out late but actually i dont like hanging out in the streets.

[Coobeastie]

I'd say for an eight year old that 9 should be her bedtime not the time for her to be coming in off the street.

[lsie1]

my eldest daughter is 11 and we dont let her out in the dark,In the summer she had to be in at 8,She of course thought we were "moody"Now its dark by 5 she doesnt go out,still thinks we are "moody"tho.We had this argement with her in the summer,she wanted to stay out till 10 cos her friends were,No way was our answer.

It goes to show you care about what happens to your daughter,which we have explained loads to ours.

My daughter is at secondary school (been since sept) but i wont change my mind about it untill she is few years older,then maybe reveiw it then,also depends on how she behaves too.youngerst is 6,but shes not allowed to play out yet.It is difficult but you are doing it for their benefit,also both girls are normally tucked up fast asleep by 9.Even in the summer too,So stick to your guns,good luck.xx

[Dagman]

When I was young, the kids where I lived all went inside when the street lights came on! We just seemed to accept it, and we all went to each others' houses to carry on playing.

[Jay70]

My daughter is nearly 8 and she's in bed by 7:30. If she isn't she is tired at school and can't concentrate properly. I wouldn't even let her out on her own let alone until 9.