can i take my daughter to live abroad

[pey-j23]

I have started a relationship with a man who lives in a EU country. My ex never seemed to bothered in coming to see our daughter who is 2 1/2 now. We were never married but he is named on the birth certificate. He always worked away in the time that we were together, and i have had to do everything that concerned my daughter, from feeding and nappy changes to getting her to sleep every night. Anyway, now i want to be able to start a new life with my new partner abroad. Now my ex has found out that im with another man he is suddenly demanding proper access once a week with our daughter. I don't believe that it will last for very long, but i would still like to know where i stand in taking her to live in another country. I have sole parental responsibilty for her.

[mimififi]

you need to see a solicitor, but if he has nad no or little contact for 2 12 years already, you can just refuse to give access. If it goes to court, you can argue that he can't take her out once a week as she doesn't have the faintest idea who he is, he can't just walk back into her life.

I don't 'think there would be anything to stop you especially if you go before he takes court proceedings. You are under no obligations to tell him what you are planning. Send him details after the deed is done. If he wants contact, he is still more than welcome to follow her, or to fly out to Sardinnia, or whereever once a month to see her. You can't put your life on hold. Especailly as this move opens up so many opportunities for your daughter. I hope your new boyfirned is spending lots of time with you and speaking to her in his mother tongue (if he is European!) too!

Best thing tho, is to speak to a solicitor, but Im sure my understanding is is if there is nothing set out by the courts as yet, you can do what you like. It is only complicated if there are already court proceedings in place.

[lazy daisy]

Tough on this.... Did you have any wriiten agreement as to when he has access to his child? If not then I wouldn't have thought he had a leg to stand on. Especially when you consider his past record re spending time with his daughter.

DOES HE HAVE PARENTAL CONSENT? This was automatically given as of 1st December 2003. Providing the Father was named on the birth certificate. Prior to that you would have had to go to a solicitor and signed documents.

When I was divorced many years ago, It was stated that I was not allowed to "remove" the said children from England/Wales without their Fathers consent.

Whatever the outcome I hope you have a wonderful and happy life with your new man.

[pey-j23]

I wasn't very clear before (sorry)

I was with my ex for 4 years, 2 and 1/2 of which we had our daughter. He worked away for an agency or 3 due to not being able to settle in any 'real' job locally, therefore didn't see our daughter as often as he should have done. She was born before the law was changed. I did everything concerning our daughter apart from the intitial 2 month after she was born when after this he seemed to loose interest in that area of her life. I feel that he sees her as a possesion rather than a child. I will contact a solicitor asap anyway, but i am very greatful to any of you who may have some answers before i manage to get an appointment. And thankyou to mimififi and lazy daisy for already answering :)

[nwtrikette]

Your ex cannot stop you taking your child to live in a different country regarless of parental responsibility.

I am Canadian and my ex feared that I may try to return home with our 2 children so he tried to put a stop on their passports. I had no intention of taking them out of the UK but got legal advice anyway.

I was told (by 3 different solicitors) that as long as I could show that the standard of living would be better for them in canada and I provided my ex with an address and telephone number so he could stay in contact with them, I could move them to Canada without a problem.

We were married when they were born so he automatically had parental responsibility but that made no difference. If he had taken me to court for access, all I would of needed to do was offer to bring them back to the UK once a year.

The only other thing I would like to say is; think long and hard before taking your daughter away from her daddy. You might see him as a looser but all little girls love their dads, regardless of how often they see them.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

[amylisa88]

I am actually going through these proceedings at the moment i am wanting to take my 3 yr old son to live in canada for a better life, his father will not give permission for me to take him even though hes had no contact with my son since he was born. ( personally i don't think he should be given the right to have this decision has hes never been there and is making no effort to be there.) I have been to see a solicitor and have been told i can not leave the country with my son without a letter of permission from his father he automaticly gets parental rights as my son was born after 2003 which is when the law brought this in, so i am now waiting for a date to go to family court were they can grant me the permission to take him if i have a good enough reason for doing so..... which i think i have...

[Chelleryn]

It's funny how many mothers wanting to move abroad say their ex is a no hoping loser. Guess they wouldn't admit otherwise. My husband and partner of 7 years has just lost a leave to remove case. He is a wonderful consistent loving dad who is now about to lose both his children who are moving to Australia so the family (his ex, her husband, their daughter and my hubbies 2 children) can be supposedly slightly better off than they already are (they already have a joint income of 72,000 and live in a house in Surrey worth 700,000 with a 400,000 mortgage). He is devastated. I am sure there are some crap dads out there, but a loving dad should never have to lose his kids like this. It's cruel and unnecessary! They go in June and I am dreading it.