Very determined 16 month old

[jmcmac]

My son is 16 months old and gets into absolutely everything. He does not seem to listen to anyone at all. If you tell him to come away he looks at you and smiles and carries on with what he is doing. We have had to hide everything he can get his hands on but he eventually finds something else he shouldn't get into. Is this normal for a 16 month old? Is there any way to stop him getting into things he shouldn't be. I need eyes on the back of my head. He has just taught himself how to switch the oven on. Concerned father

[Scarlett]

I am no expert, but I went on holiday with my nephew recently, and he was also 16 months. He is of course, inquisitive about EVERYTHING! He is a scientist and you are but his assistant. He is seeing things in his little life for the first time ever! My sister managed to make him understand the word "NO". She would watch him and let him experiment but as soon as he did anything that was dangerous she would say "FINLAY- NO" in a very stern voice, so, like a dog, he understood it as a basic command! If he then looks at you and smiles, you can go over and take away the thing that is dangerous and say it again. Be stern. If he cries, that is a good sign as he realises he can't have it, for whatever reason! But try not to do this with too many things, or he will never learn the difference. Just watch him and be there to leap in if it gets too close for comfort. He should be allowed to drop things, spill things, realise things are too heavy etc. It is all part of his discovery.

Regarding the oven- I would switch it off at the mains- big red switch, which he won't be able to reach, and is a tough switch anyway.Then you can just turn it on when you want to use it.

[frizzytwig]

Welcome to the world of toddlers. A firm No and remove him from whatever he is up to. Plus try to distract him with something else. Not easy I know, but all kids are the same, they all get up to mischief. Now is the time to start putting cupboard locks on the kitchen cabinets etc, and what joy with the Christmas tree. Good luck!

[Gef]

Probably be banned because it's not PC but a quick smack on the bottom should make a difference. You cannot reason with 16 month child.

[kick3m0n]

That's just how toddlers are, they are programmed to be inquisitive about absolutely everything - it's how they learn after all. You need to toddler proof your house from top to bottom. Put baby gates at foot of stairs and at kitchen door, as the more nosey he gets, the more dangerous the kitchen will become. Mine is 26months and his curiosity shows no signs of abating, which is a good thing, but now he's bigger, so much is within his reach, so you do need to think carefully abotu how safe your home is. If he particularly liokes being in teh kitchen (as most wee ones do since Mum spends a lot fo tiem there), why not make one of the low leevl cupboards "his". By this I mean fill it with safe objects for him to explore and play with eg wooden spoons, tupperware tubs, empty yoghurt pots, pan lids etc etc. He'll love it.

Good luck.

[jackyc]

I personally have had the same with my one year old daughtera few times. I found that a "safe" distraction is the best solution. Talk to your child at eye level and say a firm "NO", then lead them away from whatever they are doing which is harmful, dangerous or just not meant to be played with by toddlers. I really dont think Gef's solution of a smack bottom is a good thing, infact it is probably the worst thing you can do to a baby, as well as being very un-PC, the only correct thing in their answer was that thier reply should have been banned!!!!

[sunflower68]

Hey welcome to the club! Perfect the art of the Paddington-Bear-Hard-Stare ( we always called a hard stare that in the seventies) along with a good telling off. Make sure you do a swift counter-balance here; the next thing he does right, whatever it may be, overload on the praise until he can't bear the sight of you. Works wonders in most cases, honest. Good luck and congrats for having a pretty normal tot. x

[tigerthecat]

Like your ans kick.

Yep this is normal behaviour of a child learning whats around them. I didn't do the 'NO/slap/ eyelevel glare' at this age but have always used distraction and child proofing home. Now he is almost 4 I can explain - 'it will burn, it's dangerous, you will bump your head' and do you know it works - amazing! I have never got into that you will do as I say stuff but know what I want and get it from junior - every time. He wouldn't have his teeth cleaned so I gave him a choice of which toothbrush he would have and the other I had - to do the job properly. He thinks he's chosen and I've got what I wanted - clean teeth. I use this choice strategy loads and it works pretty much. If he resorts to alternative communication such as a tantrum - I walk away and only return when he begins to stop and then say 'oh dear, how awful come and have a cuddle' h e doesn't get what he wanted originally - there is no confrontation and a happy mum and son resume life.

[Le Chat]

It will start to abate from about 2 (ish). By 3, it wont be a problem! Horray! (My 2nd son is 24 months and I'm counting the days!!!!)

[Hamish]

One thing we found was dawing lines between dangerous, mischiveous and inquisative behavour. He went though a phase of opening cupboard doors in the kitchen too. ( he worked the fridge lock out in about 3hrs). We found that repeatedly telling hin off for going into a cupboard, combined with telling him he can 'help' get his plate/milk out and a rule about saying please before opeing/takeing things is working. Takes some organiseation and determination but he will now get his bowl and milk out for breakfast and is very please to do so, but will generally not go into the cupboards otherwise....the latest challenge is the christmas tree!!!

[sunnyside]

Welcome to the wonderful phase of "Beginning Discipline 101". "Around 16 months is a tough start to this because their too young to understand reason but you absolutely need to start disciplining NOW.

I read parenting books at that stage and highly recommend those written by Dr. James Dobsen.

But whatever you do or choose to read you must get your mind set on the type of discipline you will use and stick to it. You must believe in it whole heartedly or you won't be confident enough to be effective.

Your child absolutely needs your guidance and discipline in order to be secure and happy...it's your job.

Good Luck!