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9yr old boy's bad behaviour

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motheroftwo | 17:39 Tue 20th Dec 2005 | Parenting
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help, my 9yr old is driving me mad with his silly and disruptive at school. We are going to be called in after Christmas (again) as he has not improved in the last few months. He has been on report and has to earn 75pts a day and some days he gets quite near and then other days he's worse. I don't know where to go for help, he is driving my husband and I apart.
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how does he earn his points? How many for each task? Maybe if he earns 10 points for sitting still and his teacher isn't keeping his attention then the points system can be ammended for his needs. I only say this as my son's teacher last year (reception) was absolutely hopeless. Her final report to me was the His Little Lordship had serious attention problems, was very much behind with his reading and had no aptitude for writing. Since September he has had no attention problems, is in the top group in reading and his writing is coming on leaps and bounds (it's joined up writing now and that's hard for a 5 year old). I don't know a single parent (of any age group) who was happy with the teacher HLL had last year, this year however Mrs Hamilton (I will name her but not the school for obvious reasons) has really brought out the best in him. Speak to not only your son's current teacher but also other parents. Teacher's make the reports which can affect the entire life of the child, some teacher's quite simply get it wrong! My very best wishes and good luck to you, your husband and your lovely son

Have you spoken to an educational psychologist? Your doctor or your local education authority should be able to arrange this.


Hopefully they will be able to give you a plant to work to to be able to explain clearly to your son what is expected of him and how to reward him when he acts appropriately.


Good luck.

Question Author

thanks for your replies


he has to earn 15pts per lesson and this is for not shouting out, not making silly nosies and not being silly before lessons. He is in the top grade for maths and his spelling is better than mine.His behaviour at home is mostly good and only clashes with his 6yr old brother very rarely.

<DIV>just by what you have said, that he is a good speller and in the top grade for maths he is showing that he is capable of hte work, i think he may well, just find the work too easy so he doesnt need to concentrate as much, and because of this gets bored, which causes him to shout out, make silly noises etc. (im not a professional or anything but kids get bored and disruptive when things are either too hard or too easy)

<DIV>
Has your son given you any explanation of why he shouts out etc in class? First impressions, it does seem like an attention-seeking action, but why does he feel he needs attention where the other children are happy to work as required? (This is not a criticism, just a possible starting point)
Also, the target he is aiming towards seems quite high - does he EVER achieve it, as this will not give him any motivation at all if he feels he can never reach it.
I assume he has some sort of Behaviour Plan in school, if not, you could ask for one to be planned out. Have you spoken to the school's SENCo (Special Educational Needs Co-ordinator) or, as the earlier post said, an Education Psychologist?
I'm interested, as there is a boy in my daughter's class who behaves in the same way, also 9 years old, he has a lovely side to his personatlity but sadly his behaviour is alienating the other children.

Is this a new problem for him? If so, could be the teacher, another kid in class, or something like that which is setting him off. Have other kids had problems in this particular teacher's class?


I have a son who is 11, and I know it is hard to get the whole story about what is going on and why there are problems...but with persistance, some time questioning my son as objectively as I can, and speaking with his teachers and other school staff, I have been able to figure out and remedy problems that have come up in the past.


If it has always been a problem, then I am sure you have probably been briefed on the possible reasons such as dyslexia, ADD, or ADHD which all have successful remedies...


Have you really tried stepping into his shoes and looking at what life's like from where he stands? You are the adult, he is the child.You can do it, he cannot.
Question Author

to juliasix


i can't actually read your reply!


thanks though

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