Spending Money On Children’s Partners!?

[Smowball]

Random post, but here goes! Ok, I was chatting to my friend yesterday about Christmas and she said that she felt bad for spending less on her son this year, now that her daughter had a partner. I didn't understand what she meant so asked her to explain. So, her boy is 15, and her daughter is 24 & has a partner of 2 years. They are renting a flat, and are looking to buy. She said that (let's not get into the insane amount she spends - that's another post!!) just say she spends £300 each on her son and her daughter (I've just made that amount up), because her daughter now has a long term partner she now looks on him as her son, and splits the £300 between the daughter and her partner. And so coz daughter is now only getting £150 she can now only spend £150 on her son! I said that didn't make sense, why should her boy miss out, and she really didn't understand what I was saying. I said why would you treat a guy who you've known 2 years like your son who you've had his entire life!? What do you think?? Does anyone else do this? 

[Countrylover]

Personally, I think that Christmas gifts are not about how much you spend, that doesnt matter a jot.  But it seems that's what folk do nowadays.  I buy presents which I know will please whether £5.00 or £500.

[Smowball]

Completely agree with you.

[Barsel]

I don't buy presents (that's another post) but I give the same amount of money to my 5 grandchildren, slightly less to my daughters and less than that to my sons-in-law.

They would rather have the money and get something they need.

[barry1010]

Every family has their own way of doing things and that's up to them. 

No Christmas presents in our family for over 18s, a lot of people might think that odd.

[Countrylover]

Smow, I hope you don't think I would spend £500 on a Christmas present!   😉

[Barsel]

That's a shame Lottie, I was just about to post what you could get me for that.😀

[bednobs]

when we had nephews and neices to buy for, we had a rule here - if we werent thanked, they had a Bye the first time, a second non-thanks meant they were off the christmas present list.

[bednobs]

which was #awkward if one of them in the same family was off the list, but the others werent

[Countrylover]

As a small family we now just buy small token gifts.  No children to buy for.  We don't do the Christmas thing, just see our son and wife for a brunch over the Christmas break.  NotvChristmas day.  They go picnicking on the beach with the dog.  I realised many years ago that Christmas was a stressful time rather than a pleasure.  It's now  virtually ignored.  Obviously when our son was small we did it for him.

[Ken4155]

I have 3 daughters and a son and they have always received the same amount, so when my eldest daughter made her own 'nest', the money in her christmas card was the same as what was in the other 3, even though she had to share it with her partner. That's how it's always been, and i see no problems with it. Of course, they all have partners now so the matter never arises.

As regards birthdays; whatever i decide to give my 4 children (usually £20 or £30), their partners will receive half that amount on their birthdays. No-one seems to complain.

[Countrylover]

Barsel.  You'll have a long wait!

[Barsel]

I don't mind waiting Lottie. 😀

[Countrylover]

I treat my daughter in law exactly the same as my son for birthdays and they do get money and a small gift.  Just what's affordable to us at the time.  Any money I give them at any other time goes into their joint account.  

[Moorea7]

It's the "thanks" or "No thanks" which annoys me about present-giving!  I was always taught to write/call/in person whatever when receiving a gift but many kids just don't bother these days.  They seem to think it is their right.  Not all kids I might add.  My solution is "no more"!

[Redhelen72]

I want to be lottie's DIL!!

My MIL stopped new gifts about 20 years ago - then stopped buying me second hand gifts about 10 years ago - now Christmas and Birthdays are just an excuse for her to phone up and accuse me of theft!

 

[Countrylover]

I'll gladly adopt you as a second DIl red.

[Redhelen72]

awwh fanks xx

[Countrylover]

Nowadays I feel old enough physically to be your grandmother!! 

[Maydup]

If I were your friend Smowball, I would be buying whatever I usually buy for my children and a can of beer type present for the SIL. 
 

 

[Countrylover]

I feel I am pleasing my son too if I treat them the same.  She lost her mum when she was 15 and abused by her father.  So sad.