How do I get my son to move out?

[Celtigra3]

My son, who will be 27 in April refuses to leave home. Anybody got any hints on how I can eject him?

[kick3m0n]

Give him one final chance to move out of his own accord, and let him know that this is his final chance. if this doesn't work, pack his bags, sit them outside the front door, and change the locks.

[WendyS]

Well, are you making life easy for him to stay at home? Do you wash his clothes, iron them, cook his meals, tidy his room? Do you let him get away with not paying reasonable rent for his Bed and Board?. How much have you contributed to making him believe he can still act like an irresponsible teenager?

Be honest with yourself about this because if this is case you are making a real rod for the back of his future wife or partner, letting him think life is still a free ride. If he's earning a reasonable salary, give him a deadline for finding a rented place on his own if his continual presence living with you is getting on your nerves. However, if he stays, make him pay you a reasonable rent and do his fair share of household chores. otherwise some woman will eventually blame you for raising a lazy irresponsible slob who can contribute nothing to their relationship. Remember the old proverb, "Behind every lazy man there is a mother ".

[noxlumos]

Is he a problem then? I personally think it's a little odd that a parent should be desperate to remove their child of any age from the house unless he was causing problems.It is a fairly recent thing (last 30 years or so) that kids move out before they marry. Of my own kids most of the older ones have moved out because they're pursuing their own thing but if they hadn't wished to I'd certainly never have slung them out unless there were more underlying problems in which case the two ladies above have a point.If you are babying him and he's a nuisance fair enough but I'd be very hurt if I went to work, paid my way and was useful and my mother still wanted me to leave.

[teag1rl]

at 26 and living at home I'm doing my parents a favour staying at home-keeps em young!

[:Ace:]

Put all his stuff outside and turn his room into a home office while he's out...Should be a big enough hint

[tanzanya]

i agree with noxlomus, a lot of 20 somethings are staying in the family home now - but if he is lazy, does not contribute to the family income and has dodgy mates regularly over then chuck him out!

[Pippa68]

You haven't stated why you want him to leave home. If he isn't doing anything around the house & not paying/enough rent then I would also suggest raising the rent (or setting up a rental agreement!) to get his a$$ into gear. He may well want to move out once he realises he can't take you for a ride any longer?

My 13 & 16 year olds have regular chores to do in order for them to learn nothing comes for free..if the chores aren't done, they don't get pocket money. Likewise, they know that the chores won't get done for them. I am darned if I am going into their bedrooms to pick up their laundry ~ no washing, no clothes. I want them to learn to respect the others that they may be sharing with when they are older.

However, there may be another reason you want him to move out ~ is it just that you think it's time for him to go? if so, I would suggest leaving lots of estate agents brochures lying around. My mother in law did this & it worked a treat!

[Iz66]

find him a flat, lend him the deposit, and tell him you will even help move his stuff in.

Otherwise make life as difficult as possible for him.

He is 27 and still hasnt learnt to stand on his own 2 feet and so the longer its left the bigger shock it will be to him when he eventually does move, and that will be move than likely in with a girlfriend, where he will expect the same service as he gets at home.

I hope my 2 boys will leave the nest when they go to University at 18 and suffer for a while in poverty and learn the meaning of life :o)

[Celtigra3]

Thank you for all your comments. I want him to leave because (a) he annoys me (b) he does nothing about the place (even with me nagging), he expects me to pick up after him. Every morning the kitchen (which I leave tidy) is an absolute mess. I have a dishwasher and he can't even put the dishes in it! Crumbs everywhere. Yes I do his washing and ironing. (c) he pays rent, but definitely well under the going rate. (d) comes in late from the pub and makes a racket (e) and finally I do think he should stand on his own feet and know what it costs to live. At the moment he is more or less getting a free ride. I told him last night that when I move house he isn't moving with me. His sister has offered him her flat (in the centre of the town) and is lovely but he turned that down and went off in the huff. I just feel so guilty though. If I ask him to do anything for me, he moans and nine times out of ten I have to do it myself anyway. However, thanks for your comments.

[novembersnow]

Dear Celtigra3, I feel your pain! My son is 25 and my husband and I would just like our privacy! That's it; just privacy and our home to ourselves! I think you received a few good ideas. You can have a very serious talk with your son, and tell him all that you've read from your replies, then add that if he doesn't comply that he leaves you no choice but to have him legally evicted. If this seems too severe, just think of all the peace and quiet (and less work) you future holds for you! :)

[dancealot13]

Hearing things like this makes me so angry! Im 24 years old and just moved back home after living in NYC for 3 years on my own (to pay off my college loans). I could not imagine in a million years taking my parents for granted and not helping around the house. And if I ever tried to get away with irresponsibility like that, I would be forced to move out. I'm sorry your son is putting you through this. You have served you're time as a responsible parent, he is an adult now and needs to act like one. And he better learn fast because someday when he gets married, his poor wife will turn into playing the role of his mother....and no wife wants to be a mother to her husband. Tell him to "Be A MAN!!" xxxcheers

[Zorr0]

Change the locks

[jungeljill]

I know what you are going throu. my son is 20 years old
and he dont seem to want a job. He has moved in his girlfrind and they had a baby. now we are suporting all of them. but if i kick them out then im kicking out a new born
so im stuck trying to figer out what to do.
so i dont have no advice exsipt dont let him move no girl frinds in are it could get worse.