what wold you do?

[johnm2006]

i want to take my two boys on holiday,but their mother is objecting to me taking them out of school 5 days earlier than they would normaly break up for the summer holidays.(i have parental responsibility)

[Hgrove]

I think whenever possible, it is best to try and take holidays during school holidays. My daughter's head teacher has taken a real hard line on this recently, as I think many other heads (unfortunately).

[johnm2006]

i forgot to mention that the school have agreed to the holiday it is just their mother who is objecting.

[Pippa68]

This is a difficult one, & one I have experience of myself as I am both a birth mum & a stepmum ~ not that I am an unreasonable mum, I just have a very unreasonable ex wife to contend with!

Is the mother usually unreasonable, or is it just this particular occasion she is objecting to? I just wanted to clarify as she may well have the childrens best interests at heart with regards to schooling (even though the school have agreed to you taking the children out of school...hmmm)

Do you have a proper contact order in place through the courts?

[Bohne]

Apart from the fact that this would not be possible in Germany at all, I would object to it, too.
Sorry, if I sound like a spoil-sport now.

They have so many school holidays, that it should be possible for you to schedule the holiday accordingly.

[johnm2006]

i see the children on a very regular basis,and they would normaly stay with me for 4 weeks out of the 6 weeks summer holiday in any case.

[johnm2006]

in reply to bohne.

i did try to book the holiday for the following week but there was no availability,and there was a difference in price of over �1,200.

[Pippa68]

Ok, what reasons has your ex given you for not allowing this?

I know this can be difficult because we have to arrange holidays around work ~ both my husband & my ex husband have to take holiday when it is available, which means they don't always get the dates they would prefer. I take it you have tried explaining all this to the mother? if you cannot get this through to her then the only option I can see is a solicitor :o( I know, more money!!

Good luck, I do hope you get it sorted.

[johnm2006]

to pippa

the only objection she has is that it is during school time.the boys by the way are aged 11and 14yrs.

[kaz20]

My parents always took me out of school to go on holidays and neither of them were worried because we were all in agreement that I learnt just as much, if not more, by going on holiday with them! Try and use that one!

[spudqueen]

We NEVER take our children out of school for holidays, even when it was only one day for a weekend away with friends (the friends children had an inset day on the Monday, our children didn't). Sorry, but if you can't afford the holiday choose another holiday you can afford.

[Cheesefreek]

Sorry spudqueen, your answer sounds very pedantic and smug. I would definitely take them - the money makes a big difference, and they tend not to do proper lessons in the last week anyway. Hope you get to take them johnm2006 and you all have a good time together. My boys are exactly the same age as yours! Irrelevant, but true!

[noxlumos]

Spudqueen, I withdrew my children from school completely many years ago as the school ethos really did not impress me, and mine have all been home educated since then (and the older ones have done very well for themselves before the school lovers throw their hands up in horror.)

Exactly why do you seem to think that the sky will fall if the kids have a few days off school? Learning is about experience not just mindnumbing information thrown at you by disinterested teachers. It should be fun and relevant to the child which this holiday clearly will be.

All that will be achived if the kids don't go on this holiday is that they'll end up thinking their mother is a sour spoilsport which sounds about right to me.

[Whickerman]

If the holiday is partly educational - eg visiting historical sites, learning new cultures etc - your argument could be that that type of education can't be taught in a class. If however you're heading for a beach hol in spain or somesuch, i agree with the mother.

[Gef]

john if you have parental responsibility and the boys want to go with then just take them. I am a teacher and the last week of term is not a normal week in my my school. There are lots of activities and trips taking place and many classes are only half full. Do it and have a good time.

[Pippa68]

I would agree with the last post ~ the last week of term is very relaxed..there is never any homework given out & a lot of the time is spent tidying up etc.

Unless your ex decides she just doesn't want to play ball (for whatever reason) I would suggest this to her.

[MrsJo49155]

whilst I agree with most of the above...if your child is 11 years old are they in their final year at primary? If so wouldn,t it be a shame for them to miss out on their chance to say farewell to fellow students/friends/staff?

[JudgeJ]

It is quite true what noxlumus says � the sky will not fall in if the child misses a few days off school. However, consider this: the government has stated that education is among their top priorities. They also say that tackling truancy is critical to improving standards in education. Despite this they allow head teachers to authorise absence from school for up to two weeks per term.

I know that such �authorised� absences are not classed as truancy. However, put yourself in the place of a pupil who may be likely to stray into truancy. They see one of their fellows have a week off to go to Majorca. He might well ask himself what is the difference between that, and having a few days off to roam around the local shopping centre. Furthermore, all the pupils having �authorised� leave in term time have to be brought up to speed upon their return, and this will inevitably affect the remainder of the class.

If you take a holiday outside Europe during term time you will see large numbers of English children on �authorised� leave. You rarely see any from any other European countries. Because state education is �free� it seems to be abused in GB. I doubt that any parents paying �3,000+ per term for private education would consider wasting their investment by taking their child out of school for a week. Why should parents of state school pupils be allowed to waste the taxpayers� investment?

Schools have adequate holidays for parents to fit their holidays in around them. Yes it is true that holidays are cheaper in term time. It�s called supply and demand and something that prospective parents have to consider before they have children.

In summary, johnm2006, regardless of what their mother thinks, consider the education of your sons and their classmates before your holiday. They only get one crack at it.

[diana.m]

Johnm I understand your predicament, but I think at the age the children are, its not wise for them to miss any schooling. I think the holiday companies are to blame for putting prices during school holidays. Why do they do this? Familys need holidays in this hard stressful world we live. I am very limited as to when i can choose holidays and always end up paying the higher prices.

[stanleyman]

Five days off near the end of term is not going to ruin their career prospects provided it doesn't affect exams etc., even school trips are taken during term time. If your ex still objects, ask her to fund the difference in the holiday cost, if she won't then she's being difficult for the sake of it.