Child to clingy

[ryansmum]

Hi I'm having trouble getting my 4 year old son to leave me when i take him to school. Everyday the teacher has to drag him of mine or his dads legs. He really likes school but just doesn't like us leaving him. Me & my husband have started a star chart & told him when he's not clingy he will get a sticker to put in it & when its full he will get a treat for being a big boy. But he's not interested. Today he told me he doesn't want a sticker or a treat. What can i do to ease him away from me in the mornings? He's been in day care since the age of 15 months so it's not new to him.

[lady_p_gold]

Oh dear this does sound a difficult one. I do not have any magic answers. There is obviously something that is bugging him. Just a mad idea .. .how about getting some sort of pet (it doesn't have to be something major, perhaps a hamster or something) and saying that it is his and he has to be in charge of looking after it, and that now he is a big boy he can have a very important job of looking after it (and all the things that go with it, cage etc.) Just wonder if you could make him have the feeling of looking after something and then say how happy and excited the hamster will be to see him when he gets back, and that while he is at school the hamster has to sleep so that he can have enough energy to play with him when he gets back and does the feeding and chores. Just a shift in his perception of himself into being responsible for something else. Probably a completely ridiculous idea but its the sort of thing I would have tried !! I am sure whatever happens he will grow out of it.

[noxlumos]

Yeah that makes sense to me too Lady p gold. He feels at the moment as though he has no control over what's happening to him, that is he'd like you to stay, or not have to go, and that's making him desperate and clingy.

He needs to be empowered and see himself as stronger and able to make choices.It has to be his choice to go to school without fuss. You might, if you take Lady p gold's advice and get a pet, keep a pet diary with him and tell him part of owning a pet for him is to draw pics of it and write about it and take the diary in for his teacher to see every day. Get her on board too obviously, and with luck he'll be so excited to show her what he's done in his diary he'll forget to be worried or clingy.Good Luck:)

[rosyrussell]

Why not see if you can get a friend or a neighbour to drop him off at school for a few times? Maybe with one of his friends? In my experience, children react quite differently at the school gate when with someone who is not their parent!

[rachael36se]

Hello, we had exactly the same and not a day went bye were he didnt reduce me to tears, and we went through the sticker routine, the sweets after school routing you name it we did it, in the end what helped was him going into school with a best buddy, they used to hold hands walk in take there coats off toghther and the teacher agreed they could sit toghther, i think my son just didnt want to be embarassed crying in front of his mate in the end, but getting to this stage was no easy feat it took 6 months so goodluck