Drinks with meals

[MAXWELL]

Every Sunday our two Grandsons join us at our home for Lunch, the eldest who is 18 dosn't drink, the youngest who is 13 likes to join his Granddad and have a can of Lager with his lunch, only one not a session,.Both his parents are aware that he has this can of Lager and are quite happy with situation. What I would like to know? is do you think he is too young to be allowed to drink or should we be discouraging him

[Schlomo78]

Hi Maxwell, I can only talk from what I have seen in my friends as I grew up, those that were allowed a drink now and again under their parents guidance always seemed to me to be able to restrict their drink intake more and to drink more sensibly as we got older. I for one was always told of the evils of alcohol and discouraged completely from touching a drop, the minute I could get hold of some I preceeded to guzzle as much as I could, whilst my friend Sammy whose Mother had always let her have a drink at home if she behaved sensibly with it was always the first to stop and declare she'd had enough. I think if you discourage and frown on children drinking they then feel they have to go out with their friends and get blotto when they are a little older as opposed to sitting in the house with parents/family and drinking sensibly.

[noxlumos]

All of our kids are allowed wine with meals or a glass of beer and of the older ones we have no alcoholics yet. I think being allowed to drink in sensible quantities takes away the mystique that teetoal teens have about alcohol thus making a kid that's allowed to drink in moderation less likely to end up with a drink problem.I don't think you have a problem and I think you are doing exactly the right thing.

[zara 4]

I would rather have my kids having a drink WITH me than have them drinking god knows what behind my back,My oldest two,tend not to want a drink no more,so seems to have worked well.

[bex401]

I agree with the last two,I was brought up surrounded by alcohol from a very early age,in off-licences & many different pubs.My parents let me drink moderately under their supervision,whilst my friends,whose parents banned it,were hanging round the streets consuming lots of the stuff & getting into trouble.So alcohol never had that attraction for me and I grew up with a good attitude towards it and I will do the same thing with my kids.I think you're handling it the right way.

[Lonnie]

I think the young man obviously loves his Granddad, and wants to emulate him, I think your wise to allow him that one can, at that age, any more, and you should step in.

[andy-hughes]

Must agree entirely with your approach. the European attitude to alcohol, which trhe government laughingly think we will adopt by extending opening hours, is that alcohol is something to be enjoyed with meals, in company, and raising children with this approach will stop the mystique of alcohol taking over in their teenage years.

In this country, young people drink to be drunk, and anyone who is educating their family away from this tedious and dangerous attitude is to be applauded - even if you will remain in the minority for generations to come.

[hannah333]

Following Andy Hughes' answer, in Italy there is no drinking age as we have in the UK. As a result, alcohol is never an easy way for a teenager to rebel, but simply something to be consumed at meal times. No one ever goes out 'drinking' as we do in the UK. I was always made to feel that alcohol was not really a big deal by being allowed it at home throughout my teenage years, and I think that was the best thing my parents could have done.

[Buenchico]

When I went to college at 18 (a long,long time ago!), almost everyone I met had been brought up in a home, like mine, where teenagers were allowed an occasional alcoholic drink. None of these people developed a serious drink problem while at college. There was only one exception. He was from a strict (Jehovah's Witness) family where alcohol was completely banned from the house. He went on to develop severe problems with alcoholism.

Chris

[Jules001]

following on from the answers already given, I have two children 14 and 18 and they have been allowed to have alcohol with our supervision and they have always been very sensible about it and hope that this will continue. I do think that they are not so bothered about having a drink so much when they know that they can have it if they want it.

[JustSia]

As far as I am aware, according to the law in the UK, children are alowed to drink alcohol at home with the parent's consent from the age of 5.

S.

[doglady]

Totally agree with allowing your grandchild to drink with you. Apart from an incident with Guinness when he was about 3, my brother and I were allowed wine with our dinner from when we were about 7. It was watered down drastically at first, and then gradually made stronger. Personally, I don't like the tast of alchohol, and choose not to drink any more, but I have never seen my brother drunk, and he has always been very sensible.

[Bohne]

I have been allowed to drink (not get drunk) from a very early age. My grandmother always used to drink water and wine, and when I was with her, that's what I drank.
I guess there was a lot of water in my glass, before I was ten and not very much wine, but it did give me the impression, that alcohol was nothing I had to drink secretly. And I never did.

My brother and his wife has a very strict rule about their 11-year-old daughter and alcohol. She's not even allowed a sauce if it's been cooked with wine. They make such a big deal about it, that I am sure one day she'll hide somewhere and try her first beer/wine/vodka.

I think as long as the boy's parents are aware and the drinking stays within a limit, for me it would be OK.
Better while I am with them, then somewhere secretly, where you don't know when they'll stop and where it will lead to.

[SKY250]

I wouldn't worry its not as if you are letting him get drunk if you don't make a big issue about it then he won't rebel when he is older. When i was his age my dad let me drink in the house so i never felt the need to run out and get drunk and now i don't bother with it unless special occassions. I can take it or leave it. He did the opposit with my brother and now he drinks all the time.

I myself will do what your doing with my daughter when she is older rather than her doing it behind my back.

Don't worry